Breath Of Life
by BobbysIdjit
Summary: A worn soldier fighting a never ending war and a lost girl just trying to pick up the pieces of her life meet and things will irrevocably change for the both of them. Post NM. AU.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **All characters appearing in any of the stories posted here are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. I do not, in any way, profit from any story posted here and that all creative rights to the characters belong to their original creator(s).

* * *

**Chapter One**

**November 3**

* * *

"_-roasting on an open fire… Jack Frost nipping at your-"_

Christmas music already.

With a quiet sigh, the brunette flipped off the ancient radio and turned her eyes back to the deserted road. It was cold, the poor excuse of a heater did nothing to ward off the chilly November winds and the odd creaking squeal told her that her newer piece of junk wasn't going to last much longer with out some repair.

She was in Kentucky somewhere. Though, everywhere she had been looked pretty much the same when she drove the quiet roads at all hours of the night.

A long yawn escaped her lips. Her eyes watered and she blinked rapidly at the never ending yellow lines.

She definitely needed to sleep.

Where was she exactly? What town? She didn't have a clue. And all the could see in front of her was the long stretch of road.

No cars.

No lights.

Everything was dark. She'd been living in the dark for almost a year now, preferring the subtle light of the moon and stars over the harsh blinding sun. Everything was better at night. It was quiet. There was a certain solace that she embraced whole heartedly with out consequence.

_No…_ she realized. There was a light. Just off in the distance was a small dim light. Anywhere with civilization would work. At least if something happened someone could hear her scream. She released a long breath and forced her eyes open and continued driving, watching the small light grow ever so slightly as she came closer.

As she pulled on to the gravel parkway, the rocks popping and cracking under her tires, she looked up at the flickering 'BAR' sign and pulled a sour face.

_A bar…. Of all the places to pull up to, I find a place I can't even go in.. _

Rolling her mocha eyes heavenward she pulled her car off to the side of the bar, out of the light and into the shadows where hopefully she would go unnoticed.

This would have to do. Its not like it would have been the first time she'd had to stay somewhere more unsavory. She let car run for just a few more minutes trying to get every bit of heat she could. Just for good measure to slapped the palm of her hands down on her dashboard a few times. She knew it didn't help but it made her feel better.

She missed her truck, but the poor thing didn't last long and her dad had gotten this from his deputy. But she had to admit, the old rusted station wagon had character.

Making sure all the doors where locked she grabbed the blanket from the backseat and wrapped it around herself bringing with it the smell of home.

The dark haired girl made a face as she flipped the ignition off, quickly grabbed the tire-iron that laid in the floor and laid down in the seat, clutching her phone, and her weapon to her chest. She knew the things that could happen in the dark all by yourself.

Well, she had some idea.

She _was _a danger magnet after all.

Her brows furrowed at the thought as she closed her eyes.

She always tried her hardest not to think of _him. _

Not to think of _them. _

It hurt to think of them. It was different then the all encompassing pain and grief that she'd felt after they'd left her. It was more of an ache. An ache that she could forget about, but if she were to slip and remember, that seemingly forgotten ache would throb with ferocity.

_It's like when a loved one has died, _she supposed, but she wasn't quite sure on that either. _What would they say if they could see me?…_

She let out a huff and shook her head to herself and burrowed deeper in the thick blankets. Even _if _Alice had the thought of watching, she doubted it would be positive.

Bella Swan had changed that year. She'd learned that if you were alone, no one could hurt you. She'd learned that when you trust someone and you let yourself feel for them, that you're asking for pain. She'd learned to never trust anyone, because no matter how much you think you know someone, you never really do. She just wished she'd known all this then. Maybe things would have been different.

Maybe she never would have gone to Forks.

Maybe she never would have met Edward.

Met his family.

Maybe she never would have gotten close to Jake.

Maybe she never would have let Charlie down.

But maybe's and what-if's didn't help anyone, and they certainly never helped Bella.

The loud whistle of the blistering wind was the last thing she heard before she gave in to the calming whispers of sleep.

But sleep didn't comfort her very long.

A shrill, almost inhuman shriek and a loud thump pierced the night air causing Bella to shoot up panting, clutching the tire iron in a vice like grip. Her eyes quickly focused on a face smashed against the driver side window. His black hair blended in with the night sky as his pale alabaster skin was a shocking opposite. She could tell he was Asian, and probably just a few years older then herself. She supposed he would have been a good looking man if it wasn't for all the blood on his face. Her eyes widened and she inhaled sharply and flung herself against the passenger side door, never once loosing grip of her weapon.

But just as quickly as the face had been there, he was gone.

And then everything happened so fast. She heard panting, the tell tale sighs of fighting with loud punches of flesh against flesh.

_What the hell? _

Her heart sped up her breaths came in rapid succession and her hands went clammy. Cautiously she focused her eyes on the moving forms.

But just as she focused in on the two grappling forms, the slightly larger one pushed away the Asian man, brought up something metallic that caught the light of the moon, and with a short whistle of the weapon cutting through the air it had quickly severed the Asian mans head.

_No no no no no no! _

This cannot be happening. Someone was just decapitated in front of her! She was going to die. Her life was not supposed to end like this. She had been chased down and attacked by a vampire, hell, basically lived with vampires, only to be killed by a psycho killer hillbilly behind a bar.

Lurching from her frozen position she quickly moved back into the driver seat and with shaky hands tried to put the keys back in the ignition.

_This is how it's going to end. The psycho hillbilly is going to chop her into little pieces and burry her in his petunia garden. _

Her breathing was now ragged, sluggish pants. Her hands continued shaking. Just as she felt a wave of relief wash over her as she put the key into the ignition a loud bang sounded next to her left ear. On instinct she screamed and ducked down.

_Oh Alice, why couldn't you have been watching when I need you! _Bella gripped the tire iron so hard her hands were throbbing. She squeezed her eyes as tight as she could. She at least didn't want to see it coming.

But a soft knock, so unexpected, forced her eyes open and she locked gazes with a man who was looking at her with a frustrated frown on his face and a bloody axe in his hands. Bella didn't think her eyes could have widened any more, but they did. With a deep gulp she pointed the tire iron at him and grabbed her phone.

"I called the cops!" she yelled the lie, with firmness she hoped. The man quirked a dark brow and shook his head.

"No you didn't, now open the door, we need to have a talk," his voice was deep and gravely. She quickly shook her head.

_Right… like I'm going to listen to Mr. Psycho Hillbilly, you're not chopping me to pieces. _

"I don't think so!" she screeched back at him. It looked as if he sighed and rolled his eyes. She watched with wide eyes as he dropped the bloody axe, shuffle for a moment with something in his pocket and then small cracks and pops within the door.

_He's breaking in!_

Swallowing a scream she fumbled around for the passenger side, she pulled up the lock and threw open the door, all the while trying not to lose her weapon. If she lost that she had no hope. She heard the driver side door open and a deep breath.

A panic sound ripped from her throat as she pushed herself out the door, her hands hit the gravel first and she crawled out of the car quickly before he could grab her.

_Move! Just keep moving! Don't let him get a hold of you! _ she heard Charlie's voice growl in her head. _And don't turn your back on him._

Bella quickly pushed herself to her fumbling feet and spun around raising the tire iron in her fists as she walked backwards.

But the man didn't seem inclined to move faster. He calmly walked around the car to her. She noticed with a small sense of relief that he still didn't have the bloody axe.

_Don't let him get close to you. _Charlie said again. Bella nodded to herself and backed up every step he got closer.

The man raised his hands but continued forward not looked concerned at all about what the tire iron might do to his skull.

"Get away from me!" Bella screeched once again, she shook the weapon as she forced the words out for emphasis.

"Now you just listen here. You need to put that down and calm you ass down." The man said in that gravely voice. Bella just shook her head quickly.

"I don't think so! I'm not getting chopped to pieces! Nuh-uh!" Bella's voice was so high pitched that the sound almost hurt her own ears, so she understood why Psycho Hillbilly winced.

"I'm not going to chop you up into pieces, but I might just gag you if you don't stop that screeching, girl." she roughly whispered. Bella gulped and backed up again. She turned her head ever so slightly to try and see what was behind her. How much room did she have to run before she ran into a tree.

But that distraction was enough for the man to act. She saw him move out of her peripheral, her stomach dropped, she tensed, and on instinct swung the tire iron like a Louisville slugger.

Bella heard the thud it made against the man's shoulder, heard his curse, and just as the foul word left his lips he seemed to move, with a powerful and quick downward slash of his right hand she tire iron flew from her grasp, the man continued through grabbing her hand jerking her around so that her back was pressed to his chest and he held her arms down at her side.

_Not good, not good! _ Bella didn't hear her father this time, she couldn't even really put together coherent sentences. All she could do was thrash around, try to kick, bite and head but.

"Calm down! Now!" the voice whispered yelled in her ear. She stilled afraid and defeated. He had her. He was stronger then her.

She was going to die.

Bella could feel him pulling her back to another direction but all the fear that was quickly pumping through her veins paralyzed her, and all she could think about was Charlie. She'd once thought that when the time came that she would die, that she would see _his_ face. That she would see those beautiful golden gems that use to make her heart race, what seemed to be forever ago. But she saw her fathers face. She saw Charlie's dark brown eyes, so much like her own, bloodshot and watering. She saw the despair on his face that she knew she had caused. A tight knot lodged in her throat and her eyes stung.

"Please… don't," she pleaded, her voice barley a whisper. She felt the man huff as he turned her around so that she was facing him. She didn't look at him.

So when she felt him push her to sit down on the bed of a truck that was also parked in the shadows, she looked up at him. He stood there with his arms crossed over his chest, staring at her.

"What are you doing at 'Al's'" he questioned.

"Sleeping, I'm just passing through." she answered quickly, her heart still pounding.

"Passing through," he repeated, she didn't understand where he was going with this.

"yeah.." she trailed off unsure.

"Aren't you a little young to be on your own?" he questioned looking down at her with a frown.

"I'm 19." was all that she replied. The man looked at her again with unreadable eyes and took a deep breath.

"And what, did you happen to see back there?" he questioned, his mouth pinched in displeasure.

"Nothing!" was her automatic response. She knew that was stupid, he _knew_ that she saw. "Look," she tried again as he raised his eye brows and his moth quirked. "I won't say anything. I promise!"

The man was quiet for a long time, he just looked at her with eyes that she knew had seen too much. She could recognize the look. She'd seen it in the mirror everyday for those first few months after _they _had left.

After what felt like an hour, the man sighed a deep heavy sigh, ran a hand over his scruffy face and sat down next to her.

"What's your name, kid?" he asked with tiredness lacing his voice.

"Bella." she replied back quietly. What the hell was going on? She was confused. One minute he was hacking a guys head off, the next he looked like a wounded puppy.

"Well Bella, you just stepped into something," he started, she couldn't stop herself from tilting her head to look at him. "That guy there, the one I…" he trailed off making a slicing motion across his neck. Bella winced. The man huffed again and looked at her square in the eyes. "He was a vampire, and he wasn't alone"

For a moment, a tiny moment Bella thought she might still be sleeping. Or maybe this was some sick joke that the local rednecks like to pull on outsiders. But looking at the man she could tell he believed what he was saying. Bella took a deep breath, shut her eyes, and bit her lip.

"A vampire?" she asked but they both could hear the obvious doubt dripping from her words. She winced. The man's eyes narrowed.

"Yeah, a vampire." he grumbled. Bella nodded. Maybe if she just went along with Psycho Hillbilly man's delusions, he would let her go. She knew that poor man he'd killed wasn't a vampire. Absentmindedly she rubbed the scar on her wrist.

She _knew_ vampires, and vampires weren't that easy to kill.

"Okay, I belie-" she stated to placate him but was interrupted when a hand caught her wrist in a vice grip. Bella gasped and instinctively tried to pull away. She looked up to see the man's eyes trained on the scar.

_The _scar.

Bella shuddered and swallowed convulsively.

"And just _where_ did you get this?" he asked with a hard look. Bella was already shaking her head. He sighed again. "What happened?" he asked, this time a bit softer, but she still shook her head. The man looked between her and her scar for a few minutes, not saying a word. But suddenly he released her wrist and stood up and turned to face her.

"Now, we both know what type of scar that is, and we both know how someone gets one. So what's gonna happen is that we are gonna go in to that bar, and you're gonna explain how you're still alive," he looked so serious that Bella didn't respond at all, just looked at him wide eyed. "understand, kid?" he asked again. Bella nodded. He grabbed her arm and started to walk to the entrance of the bar, halfway there he tilted his head and looked back at her bid round eyes looking up at him with fear. He gave a small quirk of his lips and started to speak.

"My names John Winchester by the way." he drawled before they disappeared inside.

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**A/N: **Hey guys! This is my first crossover story, as well as my first Supernatural or Twilight fic. This fic just kinda came about on a whim, and I'm just running with it. I'm not perfect and this story probably wont be either. There may be spelling, grammatical, or plot mistakes, but its fiction and I am in fact a human. Therefore I will make mistakes in my writing. Everyone makes them. Me, you, Johnny Depp... So go with the flow and relax, this is all for fun. :) I'll be working on the next chapter as soon as I can. I hope you enjoy!


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **All characters appearing in any of the stories posted here are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. I do not, in any way, profit from any story posted here and that all creative rights to the characters belong to their original creator(s).

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**Chapter Two**

One Year Later

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This couldn't be happening.

He could _**not**_ be gone.

He could _**not**_ die.

John Winchester just… didn't die.

He couldn't.

Bella swallowed convulsively against the grief lodged in the back of her throat. Her eyes stung harshly and she was finding it increasingly difficult to breath normally. Her hands gripped the steering wheel, her fingers turning white from the force.

_This can't be happening…_

But she knew it was. She knew when she'd gotten that call from Bobby, his breath all short like and a small hitch in his voice. She _knew_ something was wrong. When those two stuttering words left her friend's mouth, her life once again was flipped upside down.

How foolish she once was, when she was a stupid love struck teenager, to imagine that her life was over when _**he**_ had left her. Now she knew the meaning of grief. The pain that rips a hole through your chest and you're left trying to piece it back together without success.

The kind of pain that _**never **_left.

"_John's gone…"_

Those two simple, yet life altering words had crashed into Bella, and she just wasn't prepared.

She never would have been prepared to lose him. He'd changed her life. Had given her something to fight for.

Twice.

…_.but now he's gone…. _

Bella tried her hardest to keep her face normal. To keep her features from crumpling in pain. It was so damn hard to do.

She'd been lucky that she'd taken a job only two hours away. She was almost there, and every inch closer she got, the harder her heart pounded against her ribs, the more painful breathing became.

Bobby said she should hurry. That the boys were giving John a hunters funeral.

She shuddered against the thought and clenched her jaw.

_He was probably resting on his pyre right now… _

She couldn't do this! She just believe she would never see him. This couldn't be happening!

Not again!

Without realizing, Bella had floored her little car the last ten minutes and pulled in spraying gravel. She rushed from the car, and before she could even make it two feet the door opened and she meet the haunted eyes of Bobby. His face was drawn down in harsh lines and sunken eyes, his usual red cheeks, a pale comparison.

Bella skidded to a stop. Her limbs seemed to go weak, and she could almost feel what small spark of hope she had extinguish.

She felt so tired.

Exhausted.

She was _terrified_.

She wanted dive back in her car, turn around and pretend this never happened. That he was out hunting, ignoring her calls as usual.

"Bella…" Bobby spoke as he walked forward. Bella instinctively shut her eyes and took a deep breath. "come on girl, he's 'round back." he whispered when her met her.

For a moment Bella wondered if her legs were going to work, but they seemed to move with out thought.

The bright flames was the next thing her sad eyes locked on.

Her legs gave out, and in a whoosh of breath she'd though her heart had to.

Thankfully Bobby steadied her with his rough hands. He squeezed her arm and bent down to whisper to her, she smelled the stale beer on his breath.

"Come on Bella, It's almost over." he had whispered, but the words still hurt her head. With an absentminded nod she walked over. The closer she came the more she saw.

Two figures standing side by side, their gazes locked on the dancing flames.

_Sam and Dean._

Of course she knew of them, John and Bobby always spoke of them. A rough shard of guilt cut through her chest. _These_ were John's sons. His family. Here she was acting like she was the only one who'd lost him. She could feel Bobby right beside her as they continued walking. It was the next step that the shorter of the two, Dean, finally noticed their presence. Confusion at first, then white hot rage swept over his features, Bobby quickly stepped in. She couldn't see the look on Bobby's face as he was now in front of her but she heard the low words, "I'll explain later, I swear."

Dean must not have had it in him to argue, Bella thought, because as they continued forward, his closed off face, and burning eyes were facing the fire once again.

The four of them stood there watching as the fire consumed someone they loved.

It shouldn't have been like this, she thought.

He'd saved so many people. Done so much good, and at the end. Four broken people stood to say goodbye while the rest of the word kept going like nothing had happened.

It wasn't fair.

Bella couldn't hold back the tears anymore, the pain in her chest was too overwhelming, she let them fall silently, wrapping her arms around herself, trying to hold herself together. Again. Her expression never changed.

_Why him? Why not someone else? _She knew it was selfish but she didn't care. _He should be here. _

Bella took a shaky breath, let her eyes go unfocused, and just picture John's half grin as she stood witnessing the funeral of another person she loved, lost.

* * *

Bella had gone in the house after a few more minutes to give the boys time to themselves. She knew they needed that.

_Hell, _she needed it.

She busied herself making some sandwiches and some tea, though she didn't think she could keep anything down right now, it gave her something to do.

Just as she was cutting the last sandwich a voice startled her.

"Who the hell're you?" the voice was harsh and deep. She spun around and met dark green eyes.

"Bella." she answered back in a subdued voice. That broken voice she hadn't heard in a while.

"Well, Sweetheart," he bit back in an angered tone, "I'm pretty sure my dad didn't know any Bella's, so what the hell are you doing here?" She watched as the taller one, Sam walked in behind him, his eyes and cheeks still wet with grief.

"Hold up a minute boys," Bobby cut in, coming into the room, "Your daddy sure as hell did know Bella, now why don't we just take a breather, sit down, and we'll have ourselves chat." by the look of Dean's clenched jaw, she knew he wanted to protest, apparently Bobby noticed as well. "Boy, that wasn't a suggestion." he said more firmly.

The wooden chairs creaked as Sam, Dean, Bobby and Bella sat down around the table, the tea and sandwiches sat in the middle.

"Who is she Bobby?" Sam broke the silence, his voice a little hoarse.

"We met a year ago. A vampire," Bella started as she focused on pouring herself a glass of the cool tea. "He kinda saved me. You could say he took me in." she finished and took a long pull of the sweet concoction.

"Took you in? Dad didn't take civilians in." Dean pointed out glaring at Bobby.

"Maybe 'took in' was the wrong phrase, more like he stumbled right over her when he took down a vamp. He was gonna let her go her own way after he covered up her scent. There was another one of those son of a bitches out there, but then he noticed somthin', he wanted some answers so he made her talk and then brought her to me." Bobby gave Bella a fleeting grin. "Tried to teach her a little 'bout huntin' but she's too damn clumsy. Two left feet this one." he chuckled halfheartedly as he grasped Bella's shoulder. "He did what he could. Taught her what she needed to know, had her goin' with him, and doin' some research for him sometimes. Showed her how to handle a gun. They were friends boys." Bobby finished with a sigh.

"Dad didn't have friends." Dean all but growled out the words at Bobby before shifting his burning gaze back on her. She shivered under his scrutiny.

"He was my friend," was all that she could say as she looked at him.

_No, he was more than a friend. He was my family. _

"We believe you," Sam's voice grabbed her attention. He offered her a small smile. She tried to offer one back. Maybe she succeeded. She heard Dean's huff before his chair screeched in protest as he shoved himself away from the table and left the room. Sam watched his older brother storm out with dark, sad eyes. Bella turned her attention back the glass sitting in front of her, her finger traced the cool rivulets of water that rolled down the glass.

"I'm sorry." she heard Sam rush out before he followed his brother. It was quiet for a moment as Bella dragged her finger across the warn table top in random patterns. What could she say? There was nothing to say.

Bobby interrupted her figure eight pattern when he reached for a sandwich and some tea. He cleared his throat.

"John would've had Dean's hide for bein' such an idjit." he stated on a huff. Bella fought off a fresh wave of tears. "He taught that boy better manners than that."

"S'all right Bobby." she mumbled as she took another drink.

"You know," Bobby started off between bites of his food. "The day he brought you here, I thought he'd damn near lost his mind. Skinny little thing like you all doe eyed and scared."

"I was having an off week." she mumbled back, thinking on the day. "I'd just seen him decapitate someone." she finished and she heard him chuckle, both of them lost in different memories.

After finishing her drink in relative silence Bella gave Bobby small smile of thanks and rose to place her glass in the sink, she gave Bobby's shoulder a quick squeeze and made her way out the kitchen door to the back yard.

The wood creaked as she walked across the old back porch and took a seat on the step and just watched the sky. Five minutes hadn't gone by when she heard the screen door open and close before she felt someone sit down next to her.

"So, you knew my dad." she heard Sam's quiet voice state. Bella flicked her eyes to him, he stared straight ahead.

She nodded, her dark locks tickling her back, before she remembered to speak. "Yeah, I knew him."

"Dean's a little-" Sam tried to apologize for his brother but Bella shook her head.

"It's fine," she said, turning to look at him. His face was still pale, and his eyes were covered by the thick brown fringe of hair that hung in his face, his head tilted down.

He was hurting.

Everyone was hurting.

"You know," she started, unsure of why she was even talking, it wasn't like her, she usually preferred silence. "John talked about you all the time." she whispered as she looked back over the dark velvet blanket that covered the sky. She heard Sam's sharp intake of breath.

"What did he say?" his voice sounded so hesitant, like he wasn't sure if he wanted to know.

Bella was quiet for a brief moment. John had told her that things between him and his sons weren't perfect. He'd done things, and said things he shouldn't have.

He'd told her that sometimes pride was just too strong a bastard to let go of.

Bella inhaled deeply and turned her face to look at Sam. He was staring back with such anticipation that her heart ached for him.

"He said he was proud of you."

She watched as he swallowed thickly and whip his face around to stare at the sky, she followed suit and focused on the moon trying to block out everything. Trying to block out the emotion clawing its way up her throat.

She faintly heard Sam walk back in the house.

_He's really gone…_

The pulse accelerated.

A heartbeat seems like such a small thing. A tiny moment. But a heartbeat for someone else? When your heart aches and pounds harshly for someone else, when you would give anything to see them again?

It _**hurts**_…

And in that moment when her heart thundered furiously against her chest, every brief slam of her heart, their faces flashed in her mind. Those dark, smiling eyes, their soft husky voice, so alike yet so different.

He'd saved her.

He'd saved her when she was so alone that she felt that her soul could have withered away to nothing…

And he'd saved her when she lost _**everything.**_

In every aspect of her lonely life, he'd saved her.

But now as the twilight settled over the earth, sounds slowly faded to nothing. The mutely solace, harsh, and the heartbeat pounding in her ears was deafening. Her trembling hands settled on her stomach as fear gripped her in a vice grip, contracting painfully. Her petite body quivered as she let go and sobbed.

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**A/N: **Sorry that this chapter is a bit shorter. Next one will be longer. Hope you guys are enjoying this! I'm working on the next chapter right after I upload this. :-D


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: **All characters appearing in any of the stories posted here are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. I do not, in any way, profit from any story posted here and that all creative rights to the characters belong to their original creator(s).

* * *

**Chapter Three**

* * *

"_You're all over the place!" John ground out._

"_I know! I'm not any good at this!" Bella panted back._

"_You're right, and you never will be with that attitude!," he punctuated every other word with another move, that seem to hone in directly to Bella's arm, leg, or stomach. _

"_Argh!" Bella grunted as a well practiced sweep of his legs sent her on her back. She was tired, she was dirty, she was _so_ very sore. _

_They'd been at this for an hour and already Bella wanted to crawl her pitiful self back to her room on Bobby's second floor and hide under the covers. John and Bobby both had been adamant that if anyone needed some basic training, it was her, and they'd put it upon themselves to teach her everything they thought she would need to know. _

_Only thing was, she really really sucked at it. _

_Bella heard John sigh as she lay there panting for breath, her hand pressing against a dull throb in her ribs. When a shadow fell over her limp frame she opened her eyes and frown at John as he stuck his hand out. Her frown maybe could have been considered a pout as she took his hand, but she would have denied it. _

_Not bothering to dust the grime from her clothes they walked over to Bobby's always creaking back porch and took a seat, Bella closed her eyes. _

_Her eyes hurt. Her head hurt. Her back, arms, legs, butt, and even her hair hurt. _

_She tried to glare at John but she failed miserably. _

"_You need this." John said, as he wiped his sweaty brow and blinked against the harsh South Dakota sun. _

"_I know," she sighed. _

"_You're apart of this world now, there's no gettin' out . So you'd better be prepared to fight tooth and nail to stay in it." he told her seriously. _

"_John.." she hated the whine to her voice, and apparently so did he. _

"_Quite that whining , you got too much to live for, to be taken down so easy.." Bella opened her mouth to interrupt. _

'Too much to live for?' _who was he kidding. _

"_Don't interrupt me either," he stated firmly, "I know you wanna argue that you don't, but you do. I know everything might seem like hell right now, and it might be, but you got your whole life a head of you. Take it from someone who knows. Sometimes there are things in this life that's worth stickin' around for, even if we don't know it yet." _

_Bella stayed quiet. _

_She wished that were true._

_John bumped his shoulder against hers but didn't look at her, Bella hissed in pain and teasingly glared and him and bumped him shoulder back. _

"What's got such a grin on that face?" Bobby's voice snapped her out of her thoughts as she organized her rucksack once again.

"Just thinking." she shrugged.

In the days after John's funeral, Bella settled into a routine.

Clean up around the house, cook, do a little research with Bobby, practice with her Smith and Wesson 36 Lady Smith Revolver that had been a gift from John, organize her supplies, cook again, read out on the back porch, and then go to bed.

She'd stayed at Bobby's countless times, but the difference this time was the two extra house guests, and she wasn't' sure how to act around them.

Sam was polite, but quiet. He did a lot of research and talked a lot with Bobby. He was sort of easy to live with. Dean, on the other hand, was proving to be difficult.

It was obvious that didn't like her, or maybe he just didn't trust her. Hell, maybe it was both. The glare he sent her every now and then warned her not to approach him. He was quiet, in a completely different way than Sam, and he spent the majority of his time working on a totaled Impala.

Then there was Bobby.

"I've been doin' some thinking'" he said on a sigh as he walked further into the room. Bella looked up at him hesitantly at his tone.

"What…" she asked her lips pursed.

"I think maybe you should ride along with Dean and Sam for a hunt for two."

Bella wasn't sure if her eyes widened as comically as she pictured in her mind.

_He couldn't be serious…_

"I'm telling you girl, it would do you some good. I know John had a hard time teachin' ya, but he wasn't known for his patience. Maybe a time or two with them boys will help you, and with what you do, you could help them." He'd been trying in vain to talk her into going with Sam and Dean for a hunt or two, she immediately shot him down. "I don't like seein' you alone." he finished with a shrug as he adjusted his trucker hat just so.

Bella rolled her shoulders and continued checking her supplies.

"Bobby, its not gonna happen," she started with a huff.

She leafed through the rucksack. _Adhesive bandages, dressings, butterfly closure strips, antiseptic, Aspirin, smelling salts, suture kit…_

"You should listen to her Bobby," a deep voice put in from behind her. She turned her head quickly, her dark locks flying behind her, and looked in the door where Dean stood with his arms crossed. "We don't need any help, and we don't have time to teach some hunter chick wannabe." he finished and leaned against the door frame. Bella rolled her eyes at his tone.

"I don't want to help anyone and I don't need anyone's help," Bella gritted out between clenched teeth as she placed the bandages back in the bag with a bit more force than necessary.

"Sure thing, Sweetheart," she heard the sarcasm drip like acid from his lips. She fought back a blush of aggravation.

"Damned Idjit!" she heard Bobby curse "nobody 'round here can even listen to an old man," he muttered before stomping out of the room. Bella held in a small chuckle at Bobby's colorful vernacular and tried to ignore Dean's presence.

He didn't speak for a moment, and she didn't dare look at him. Finally when she'd had enough of the silence she spoke.

"Is there something else you needed?" she knew she sounded kind of snappish but his quiet brooding, and the intense fire she could feel from his eyes made her uncomfortable.

"Who's Ellen?"

This time, with real confusion, Bella looked up at him. "What?" she questioned.

"Who is Ellen?" he huffed again as if he were tired, and shifted where he stood. Bella was already shaking her head but before she could even open her mouth Sam appeared beside Dean.

"I found one of Dad's old phones. Took me a while, but I cracked his voicemail code. A woman named Ellen called him." he explained running a hand through his unruly dark hair. Bella was still confused as she looked between Dean and Sam.

"and since we didn't know about you either, we figured you'd know the other members of the 'Secrets-Johns-Hiding-Club'." he finished with a quirk of his lips.

Bella fought the urge to throw something very heavy at his seemingly very large head. Shoving her rucksack aside she stood up.

"Contrary to what you may believe, John didn't tell me _everything_." she did her best to burn him with her glares, obviously by the look on his face thought, it wasn't working. He just continued to stare at her. Bella sighed and ran a hand down her face. "No, I don't know who Ellen is." she finished before leaving the room.

It was an hour later and Bella was finishing the dishes while the boys packed up, she grabbed another dish and started to scrub again. Normal household chores seemed to never fail to take her back to another time. A happier time.

She could almost see Charlie sitting back in his recliner, beer in one hand and the remote in the other. She could almost hear the game that he had on a little too loud, and his occasional yell of protest.

Shaking the memories, Bella went back to the dishes and glance up out the window, the cool breeze that filtered through the few inches it'd been opened felt nice against her skin, the heavy smell of grass burned her nose.

The sound of footsteps interrupted her peace.

"Hey." she heard Sam greet as he opened the refrigerator door.

"Hey." she returned.

"You want some help?" he asked as he walked over to the sink. Bella was already shaking her head.

"You don't have to, I'm almost done.." she trailed off as he just rolled up his sleeves and gave her a tired smile.

"Don't worry about it." he told her as he began to rinse. After a beat he spoke again. "I know Dean can be a pain, he's just…" he shrugged his shoulder, "in a bad place." he finished. Bella's heart lurched.

"I know," she whispered, then in a stronger voice she continued, "he's not so much different than John though. Apparently the both have similar moods." she remembered with a faint grin. Sam chuckled and nodded his head.

"Don't I know it."

The next ten minutes went by in quiet only broken up by the sound of the faucet and the occasional splash of water. When they were on their last dish however, the sound of arguing broke through the kitchen.

"I'm telling you Bobby, It's not gonna happen!" they heard Dean voice loud and angry. She saw Sam glance at her discreetly. They could hear the voice getting closer, and Bobby spoke while entering the kitchen.

"Damnit Dean, can't you take your head outta' your ass long enough to listen for once." Bobby threw behind him as Dean followed him through the door.

"No Bobby. We don't bring amateurs along." Dean emphasized the word 'amateurs' by raising an eyebrow and looking a Bella.

"She knows how to handle her gun, and with you boys getting near death every job you take, you could use someone to fix you up. That's what she does. She's like the unofficial Doc of Hunters. She even makes house calls."

"Come on Dean.." Sam tried to put in.

"No, you know this wont end good. She'll end up getting killed, or getting one of us killed." She could tell Dean was frustrated by the fierce clench of jaw and the set of his mouth.

"Bobby, it probably isn't a good idea…" Bella started off again, only to be interrupted by Bobby.

"I don't ask much of you all, but I'm asking this time. Damnit, just do what I ask this once." he growled. "as a favor." he finished looking back and forth between Dean and Bella.

It was quiet for a moment as Bella warred with herself. She really didn't think tagging along with them would do any good at all, especially with the obvious hostility that Dean was showing towards her. She didn't want to be somewhere she wasn't wanted.

She'd done _that _before, and it didn't turn out well.

But this was Bobby asking, and he didn't really ever ask anything of her. How could she refuse him after everything he'd done for her.

"Fine," Dean huffed and walked closer to her. He stared at her, his green eyes blazing. "if you mess up just one time, your ass is back here at Bobby's."

* * *

The ride had gone some what smooth. Bella had sat in the back looking out the window as the trees seemed to fly by. She would even venture to say it was a nice ride, only interrupted by the small talk that Sam deemed necessary to make. Dean on the other hand was content with drumming his fingers against the wheel and humming Metallica.

It was just _awkward._

Thanking God for small favors, it wasn't long before Dean, Sam and Bella pulled up to the Roadhouse Saloon in a rusty old van.

"This is humiliating. I feel like a friggin' soccer mom!" Dean grouched. Bella held back a sigh.

"I told you we could have taken my car." she added as an after thought. She _had_ offered her cars service but Dean flat out refused.

"Yeah, cause I definitely wanna be seen in a Barbie car." he snorted and rolled his eyes as they exit the van. Bella rolled her eyes back in a mocking gesture.

"It's the only car Bobby had running." Sam reminded his brother and looks around him and they walk in. Its quiet and dark, and maybe for that reason alone Bella let her hand fly to her waistband where her gun is nestled. She felt the comforting weight and took a breath.

Walking further in, they saw a man passed out on the bar. Bella scrunched her face at the picture he made.

"Hey, buddy?" Sam asked and then looked back to Dean. "I'm guessing that isn't Ellen."

Bella wasn't use to being in places like this. Well, she wasn't use to being in them with out John or Bobby or someone she knew. Usually, she met at a motel or the side of the road when she had a job. She watched as Sam walked in a room in the back, and Dean walk down a few steps.

It was then a shadow caught her attention.

"Dean!" she yelped and pulled her gun, just as John taught her. Apparently Dean wasn't fast enough, as the barrel of a shot gun pressed against his back. Bella held her gun firmly at the blonde girl handling the weapon, but the girl didn't seem bothered by it.

"Oh god, please let that be a rifle." Bella heard Dean mutter and she rolled her eyes at his need for such remarks at a time like this.

The gun cocked, as if to back up her thoughts.

"No, I'm just real happy to see you. Don't move." Blondie retorted.

"How about you not moving." Bella put in as she moved forward a bit, her hand shook a bit. All the time she'd spent firing at cans and bottles was a whole lot different then pointing it at a living person. She saw Dean send her a look. A look she'd never seen before.

A wicked grin spread across his lips and he winked at her. Bella was so shocked that she almost dropped her gun.

"Not moving, copy that. You know, you should know something, miss. When you put a rifle on someone, you don't want to put it right against their back. Because it makes it real easy to do…" He stopped only to spin fluidly, grab the rifle and cock it. "That." he finished smugly.

In a move, Bella didn't see coming Blondie let her fist fly, landing a right hook to his nose. Bella moved forward again as Dean doubled over, clutching his face, this time her hand was a little more steady.

Blondie only lifted her eyebrow and points the gun back at Dean. Bella gnashed her teeth together in agitation.

"Need some help in here." Dean yelled for Sam. Bella's hands were clammy and she started to sweat. What happened if she had to actually _shoot_ someone. She shifted in her old chucks and looked back and forth between Dean and Blondie.

"Sorry, Dean, I can't right now. I'm a... little tied up." Sam's voice broke in, causing Bella to whip her head in the direction of his voice. He walked slowly out of the back door with his hands on his head. Bella's grip on her gun tightened as she saw an older woman with a handgun pointed at Sam's head.

"Sam? Dean? Winchester?" The older woman asked, recognition lacing her tone. Bella's forehead scrunched but she didn't move.

"Yeah." Dean and Sam responded at the same time.

"Son of a bitch." she whispered. Bella's eyes kept flickering between them all, wondering what she was supposed to do. Sure she'd gone on jobs with John, but she'd gone to do research, and to patch him up afterwards. She stayed in the hotel room basically the whole time.

She was beginning to rethink Bobby's little favor.

"Mom, you know these guys?" Blondie asked the woman, her mother.

"Yeah, I think these are John Winchester's boys." the woman let out a deep hearty laugh and lowered her gun.

"Hey, I'm Ellen. This is my daughter Jo." Ellen stated with a nod to Blondie. Bella watched at Jo lowered her rifle, but Bella didn't lower her gun yet. Ellen noticed.

"And who's the girly with a water gun?" the older woman questioned with a tilt of her head.

"That's our tagalong, Bella." Dean informs Ellen. Bella narrowed her eyes at Dean, her face clearly telling him she didn't find him funny. Dean only motioned with his hand for her to put her gun away. Reluctantly she did so. "Why don't you go clean out the van a little, sweetheart?" Dean added when her gun was tucked back in the waistband of her pants. Bella's glare only intensified at that.

Did he really think he could just order her around.

By the returning quick glare he sent her, he obviously thought so.

Taking a deep breath and rolling her eyes, she stormed out the Roadhouse.

The sun was sweltering as Bella tied her flannel around her waist and threw up her hair in a messy bun.

Cleaning. _Cleaning. _This is what it has come to. _Cleaning_ their stupid van, Bella thought. After this, no matter how much Bobby begs, it's not happening.

Throwing open the side of the van Bella grabbed a garbage bag from her pack and started clearing away the fast food wrappers, cans, and some stuff that looked like it may have once been food.

'_Where is My Mind' _by the Pixies blared from her pocket startling Bella dropping the bad and almost tripping over her feet. Luckily the van was there so she could steady herself. Ripping the phone from her pocket she answered with a hasty "What,"

"…._I just wanted to make sure y'all ain't killed each other yet." _Bobby spoke after a quick pause. Bella sat down in the open door of the van and sighed.

"Sorry Bobby, I'm just not in a good mood." she finished lamely.

"_Alright, but other then your poor mood, is everything okay?" _he questioned again. Bella attempted a small smile, even though he couldn't see it.

"Yeah, everything's fine." she lied and pushed back some stray hair that had fallen loose. Bobby's deep chuckle sounded in her ears.

"_You're a liar, but I'll let it pass. You just call me if you need anything. Alright?" _

"Alright, I will." she promised and looked towards the Roadhouse.

After saying their goodbyes, Bella hung up the phone and tilted her head toward the sky and closed her eyes.

"_**You've always gotta be on you're game Bella. But sometimes you gotta relax.**_" she heard Johns voice so clearly in her head he may have been sitting next to her. Bella's chest constricted.

_God, I wish he… I wish _they_ were sitting with me. _She thought as the pain lanced through her.

_She had to stop! _Bella internally screeched as she tossed the garbage bag down. She'd been through this before, she would get through it again. She would have to just grit and bare it.

Bella laid her head down against her knees and blew out a shaky breath.

It was just too soon.

Way to soon.

Deep in her thoughts, she didn't notice when the boys came back out. She didn't notice them until they started speaking to her.

"We've got a job," Sam told her with a small grimace. Bella nodded, let out a breath and reached for the bag while Sam moved back to get in the van.

"You alright?" Deans voice stopped her short. She turned her head and nodded her head. He look serious as usual. His eyes bright in the sun and his square jaw, for once not clenched.

"Yeah, I'm fine." she said. Dean nodded his head, shifted once, then moved to the drivers side. Bella tossed the bag in the dumpster then hoped in.

They'd been driving for a while, this time however there was no small talk, it was all about the case.

The windows were down, and the paper Sam had given her from some of the file to look over to make things go easier, rustled in the wind. Things were going okay.

That was until Dean found out what the job was…. He was a little skeptical.

"You've gotta be kidding me. A killer clown?" Dean deadpanned.

"Yeah. He left the daughter unharmed and killed the parents. Ripped them to pieces, actually." Sam huffed.

"And this family was at some carnival that night?" Dean asked sparing a glance at his brother.

"Right, right. The, uh, Cooper Carnivals." Sam replied looking back at some of the papers in his lap.

"So how do you know we're not dealing with some psycho carnie in a clown suit?" Dean asked. Bella shuddered. She seriously hoped things like that didn't really happen.

"Well, the cops have no viable leads, and all the employees were tearing down shop. Alibis all around. Plus this girl said she saw a clown vanish into thin air. Cops are saying trauma, of course." Sam explained.

"Well, I know what you're thinking, Sam. Why did it have to be clowns?" Dean laughed. Bella glanced up from her papers.

"You're afraid of clowns?" she asked. It seemed kind of ridiculous, after all the things he'd seen, he was afraid of a guy wearing makeup and bright clothes? Sam looked back at her, his cheeks going a bit ruddy.

"Oh, give me a break." he whined a bit, shooting his brother a look.

"You didn't think I'd remember, did you? I mean, come on, you still bust out crying whenever you see Ronald McDonald on the television." Dean gave a full bellied laugh at the memory, Bella fought back a smile.

"Well, at least I'm not afraid of flying." Sam pointed out stubbornly.

"Planes can crash." Bella put in with out thinking.

"See, planes crash!" Dean agreed with her.

"And apparently clowns kill!" Sam argued back. Bella couldn't help herself, she snorted a laugh at the brothers banter.

How different Dean seemed when you weren't on the end of one of his death glares.

"So these types of murders, they ever happen before?" Dean asked.

"Um, according to the file, 1981, the Bunker Brothers Circus, same M.O. It happened three times, three different locales." Bella read from the file on her lap. She glanced up at him, only to see him looking at Sam.

"It's weird, though, I'm mean if it is a spirit it's usually bound to a specific locale, you know, a house, or a town." Dean said, speaking to his brother.

"So how's this one moving from city to city, carnival to carnival?" Sam asked the question.

"Cursed object, maybe. Spirit attaches itself to something and the, uh, carnival carries it around with them." Dean put in with a shrug and drummed his fingers against the steering wheel once again.

"Paranormal scavenger hunt?" Bella questioned with a lift of her shoulder, and then leaned her head back against the seat.

"Well, this case was your idea, Sammy. By the way, why is that? You were awfully quick to jump on this job." Dean gave Sam a look out of the corner of his eye while he fiddled with the radio.

"So?" Sam shrugged, Bella knew the tone on voice someone had when they didn't want to elaborate.

"It's just... not like you, that's all. I thought you were hell-bent for leather on the demon hunt." Dean pushed.

"I don't know, I just think, this job, it's what Dad would have wanted us to do." Sam said after a minute.

"What Dad would have wanted?" Dean stated it as a question a weird look passing over his face.

Bella looked up at them.

"Yeah. So?" was Sam's brilliant response as he turned to face the window.

"Nothin'." was all Dean replied.

_Oh, John, your boy's are a mess with you gone. _Bella thought with a heavy heart as she continued to look out the window.

* * *

**A/N:** First of all, WOW! Thanks for all the favs, fallows, and reviews! You guys are Awesome! I mean you guys are really amazing! Next chapter has the action, and I'm working on it now, so it should be up today or tomorrow. For some reason I just can't get this fic out of my head. I already have some twists and surprises planned out and I can't wait to get to them! Oh, and sorry for any errors.

Hope ya'll enjoy!


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: **All characters appearing in any of the stories posted here are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. I do not, in any way, profit from any story posted here and that all creative rights to the characters belong to their original creator(s).

* * *

Chapter Four

* * *

Pulling into the Carnival, Bella had to shield her eyes from the harsh sun, she felt Sam stand next to her left and cast him a wide eyed glance as a three-foot-tall woman in a crazy costume passed by them. Sam and Bella both look at each other.

This was the weirdest job _ever_.

Bella hadn't been to a Carnival in a long time. Not since Renee had taken her when she was ten and she'd gotten sick after eating two cotton candy's and riding the swings. She shivered at the memory.

It was when Dean strolled up, chomping away on popcorn, that interrupted her thoughts.

"More murders?" Sam asked with a frown plucking a bit of popcorn from Dean's bag, he popped some in his mouth before opening his hand to Bella in an offering gesture. She grabbed a few pieces and mumbled her thanks.

Dean frowned and threw a piece of pop-corn at Sam's head before speaking, "Two more last night. Apparently they were ripped to shreds. And they had a little boy with them." he said and Bella winced.

"Who fingered a clown." Sam stated nonchalantly.

Bella coughed, and tried not to choke on the popcorn. Both she and Dean stared at Sam as if were crazy.

"What?" Sam questioned as he noticed their stares.

"You…." she started, unsure of what exactly to say but Dean cut her off, getting back to business.

"Yeah, a clown, who apparently vanished into thin air."

Sam tilted his head a bit, moving his hair out of his eyes before speaking. "Dean, you know, looking for a cursed object is like trying to find a needle in a stack of needles. They could be anything."

"Well, it's bound to give off EMF, so we'll just have to scan everything." Dean pointed out.

"Oh, good, that's nice and... Inconspicuous." Bella put in lowly. Seriously, how did they plan on running around with an EMF meter and not get noticed. She kicked the dirt in front of her but didn't add to her original comment. Dean must have thought of something because she could hear the slight grin in his voice as he spoke.

"I guess we'll just have to blend in." he said, nodding his head toward a 'HELP WANTED' sign.

Bella was already shaking her head.

There was no way she was going to work at a Carnival

* * *

As it turned out, Bella didn't have worry about that because Dean had sent her off to look around the Carnival while the Hardy Boys on steroids went to speak to Mr. Cooper.

Of course she really hadn't wanted to work there, but for him to not give her a choice, to make her walk around in circles doing nothing while they were on the job?

Why was she even here?!

Her temper was flaring.

There was no point in her being here! She wasn't doing anything! She wasn't helping anyone! And she sure as hell wasn't learning anything other then how to be pissy to everyone.

Throwing her dollar fifty down on the counter she grabbed her cool soft drink and stumbled on through the Carnival.

And she was by herself. What loser went by themselves to a Carnival?

Apparently _she_ did.

Bella sighed and took a rather big gulp of her orange soda as she walked past the Merry-Go-Round.

Why couldn't Dean be more like Sam.

…easygoing. Was that such a difficult thing to ask? She didn't think so.

Over the next fifteen minutes she tried her hand at different games.

If she had to walk around by herself she would at least enjoy it a little.

She lost at all the games she tried except the one where you throw darts at the balloons. It was because of that win that she now carried large, pink llama in her left arm and a new super sized Orange soda in her left.

It hadn't turned into a _total_ waste after all.

"Bella?" a voice questioned a head of her. Pausing mid-sip she glanced up to see Dean lifting a brow and walking towards her.

"Find anything?" he asked as they started to walk side by side. Bella hid her blush as being caught, well, doing nothing.

"I'm not even sure what I'm looking for, but I'm gonna say no. " she answered primly as she took another sip, before tossing it in a bin they passed by, then adjusted the pink llama.

"Fine, you seen Sammy?" he questioned as he ran his hand over his head.

"Not yet."

Its quiet between them and only the sound of giggling kids, ringing bells, and Carnival music stopped it from being dead silent.

Bella once again shifted on her pink llama. _If I focus on this, maybe I'll forget about the awkward silence I'm standing in the middle of._ she thought with little humor. She spared a glance at him, the frustrated set of his eyes, and the tense lines around his mouth showed that something was up.

He opened his mouth, but closed it quickly, shot her a quick look before looking away.

"How long did you know my dad." he finally blurted out after a minute of trying to catch flies. Bella looked up at him quickly, shocked that he would even mention it.

"About a year," she stuttered, then gave a paused, she made a face, "I know a year doesn't seem like a lot of time, but it seemed like much, much longer."

_Imagine what he felt like, that was _his father.

"And you were friends," Dean prodded a little more, as his tense face looked anywhere but her.

"Yeah, I mean, sure he was a grouch at times, but he…" she trailed off as her chest tightened, as did her grip on her prized pink llama. She felt, rather than saw, Dean pause and turn toward her.

"He what?" he asked, and as she looked up at his eyes, the swirling mixture of emerald glass and the obvious pain he tried to hide made her throat constrict. She looked down at her scuffed chucks.

"He saved me." was all she could say. She knew she wouldn't be able to fully explain just how much he'd saved her.

She'd never be able to explain what he meant to her.

Dean nodded his head jerkily and cleared his throat as they begin to walk again. "Yeah, he was good at that."

"Oh! Beautiful couple!" a deep accented voice rumbled in front of her, interrupting their friendly walk and startling her enough to almost drop her pink llama, a rough hand latched onto Bella's wrist, the other hand latched on to Dean's. "Beautiful couple want a picture!" the grimy man grinned showing his discolored teeth. Bella recoiled as Dean gave the man a small shove away from them.

This _**had**_ to be the most unnerving place _ever. _Bella thought as she readjusted her pink llama and cast a look at Dean, who looked for once, just as awkward. The Carnival was someplace she would be happy never to return to. The loud screeching sounds, the horrible smell, the long lines, the people who didn't believe in personal space.

The tall familiar form of the younger Winchester moved in her line of sight, Bella let out a relieved breath and poked Dean's side.

"Dean, there's Sam," Bella told Dean before walking in Sam's direction. She could feel Dean walking slightly behind her.

"What took you so long?" Sam questioned as they finally caught up to him.

"Long story." Dean supplied with a wave of his hand.

"Mommy, look at the clown!" all three of their heads turned simultaneously to look at the little girl.

She was _pointing _at something.

"What clown?" the girls mother questioned the child.

Walking over slowly and peeking in, they realized that the little girl saw _nothing_. Bella fought off chills.

They space was empty.

"Come on, sweetie, come on." the mother shushed the child.

Bella, Sam and Dean all spared each other a glance.

"Like that's not creepy at all…." she frowned.

* * *

Not surprisingly Bella was mad.

Why did he even go along with what Bobby wanted if all he was going to do was shove her aside and make her stay put every time they had something to do?

Why did he have to be such a jerk. He obviously didn't think there would be anything useful at the Carnival if he'd told her to stay by herself.

Twice.

The place was so busy, so many people packed in, pushing and shoving. Loud cries of small children as they rode a 'scary' ride and the overwhelming smell of fried food wrapped around her. So after stashing her pink Llama in the van, she kept walking though, intent to do her job. She would keep an eye out. One never knew…..especially with her, when danger may pop up.

A quick staccato of percussion, loud and deep demanded her attention. Bella bit her lip slightly and looked around her for the source. Seeing nothing but faces, she walked toward the sound, each step she took the louder the sound came. It was faster now. Harsher. She quickened her pace and turned a corner. The beats quickly stopped abruptly and a subtle light tinkering of notes in a soft, haunting, yet entrancing melody took its place.

_Fire _

Fire, was the first thing Bella saw in the opening.

_Dancing fire…_

The next thing she saw was the tall man that seemed to dance with the fire. He was thin, lanky, shirtless, with a shock of the blackest hair she'd ever seen pulled back into a tight ponytail, high cheek bones, and dark azure eyes that seemed to glow red in the reflection of his dancing partner.

Bella watched mesmerized as he twirled the fire around and around. It was amazing. She watched entrapped by the slow movements and the peaceful look on his face. She didn't even notice when her gaze locked with his.

"Fear." he spoke, his voice low and rough, his lips quirking as he looked away from her. Bella furrowed her brow. "Do you have it? Do you feel it in your bones?" he spun around and flipped the one stream of flame to two. "What do you fear?"

Bella was to frozen to move. _Was he talking to her?_ She let her eyes flick around her. No one was paying attention, everyone else seemed to be in line for some ride or some bad food. Bella looked back at the man and tilted her head.

"Do you fear death?" he questioned twirling the flames at different heights. "Why is it that we fear death? Is it the unknown? Why, if it is the unknown we fear, then we must fear everything, for everything is at one time, unknown." pieces of his inky hair fell loose and fell around his face, but he paid them no mind, instead let his dark eyes focus back on her.

_What is going on?_ As confused as she was, she couldn't find it in herself to move.

"Or yet, Love. So powerful. So intriguing. So full of…. " the man flipped the fire once again and it turned to four separate flames. "fire and passion." he moved toward Bella, but so captured by his words and the dangerous dance, she didn't back away. He looked intently in her eyes. "Ah, yes, so afraid, so you shy away from the flames, away from the heat that feels _sooo_ good. You fear being left in the shadows of the night, cast away from those dancing embers. You shy away, afraid you will get burned"

Bella swallowed, as her heart pounded. The man tossed the fire around and it went back to only two flames.

"You've been burned before. Did it leave you as smoldering ashes? Did the smoke ever lift?" he questioned and spun the two flames at an amazing speed.

"But you want the heat, don't you darling. You crave the flames licking at your skin. You don't want Ice do you? You want fire!" his voice was so soothing, so soft yet so strong. Bella's face flushed, and she wasn't sure why. Never taking his eyes from there locked position with hers he let go of the spinning flames and caught them as they merged as one, he continued to twirl the fire.

"Yet you fear all the while, embracing the flames. But embracing the flames…" he made a quick motion with his hands and the fire went out before he placed his hand near his mouth and breathed a few feet of fire. Bella shut her eyes cringed back, startled by the sudden burst of heat. But a low voice smelling of liquorish, breathed in her ear.

"but that's the part worth living, my dear."

Bella spun around only to see nothing.

The man was gone.

Placing a hand against her forehead, and the other against her racing heart, Bella glanced around trying to spot the mystery man with the flames.

_What just happened_?

Bella walked, or jogged through the crowd, her eyes darting around almost frantically trying to find him again, to ask him why he spoke to _her._

This was insane.

Who was he?

A firm hand grasped her shoulder making her yelp and spin around, her distress etched clear across her face. A small bit of relief pooled into her chest, right next to the most miniscule amount of disappointment.

"Whoa, you okay?" Dean asked her, his features furrowed. Bella took a deep gulp of air and nodded with force.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." she stuttered over her words. She looked up at him, to see his green eyes darting over her featured to try and gauge if she was lying or not. He either believed her, or had other things on his mind, because he nodded his head.

"Come on, we think we know who it is." Dean said as he walked forward past a few tents.

"_What_ is it?" Bella asked as she followed him.

"Rakshasa." he answered, and they briskly turned another corner.

"And that makes sense to me?" she replied as she tried to keep up with out falling. She heard Dean get his breath.

"It's a race of ancient Hindu creatures, they appear in human form, they feed on human flesh, they can make themselves invisible, and they cannot enter a home without first being invited. They sleep on a bed of bugs and have to feed a few times every twenty or thirty years. Slow metabolism, I guess. To kill it, legend says, a dagger made of pure brass, and there ladies and gents is the wiki-Dean version."

Before Bella could open her mouth to respond Sam meets with them, not stopping just matching their stride.

"We think it's Cooper." Dean finished before halting and turning toward her and Sam, "I'm going this way, for the brass, you two can check Cooper's bunk." he didn't leave it as a question and he left no room, or time for argument as he turned and jogged the other way.

Bella tossed Sam a look, who in return just shrugged his shoulders, and walked forward toward Cooper's trailer. Bella looked around nervously.

"Think maybe I should be lookout?" she whispered, and while it may have been reluctant fear that had the words spilling from her mouth, they did make sense. Sam shot her a look and shook his head, and began to pick the lock.

How did people do this kind of stuff? Bella was a nervous wreck, all sweaty palms and shifty eyes, a dead give away that she was up to some unscrupulous activity.

She was _sooo_ going to get them caught.

The door opened slowly and they walked through quietly. Bella looked around at the dark place. While it was somewhat odd, it didn't really look like a monster den. She looked at a few things on a shelf as Sam pulled a pocket knife and began to slice the mattress open.

_Ew_, he meant it literally when he said 'slept on a bed of bugs'. Bella pulled a face, but froze completely, her eyes widening as she heard a gun cock behind them. She looked to Sam who had also frozen.

_I told you I should have stayed as looking out! _she shouted at him in her head.

Turning around slowly Bella saw that the gun was pointed at her. She felt as if her whole body tightened.

"What do you think you're doing?" Cooper growled. Bella raised her hands in the air and looked at Sam, her eyes widening as an idea struck her. Not giving herself time to talk herself out of it, she walked over to Sam and slid an arm around his waist.

"Just looking for a, a um, quiet place..," she stuttered, feeling the hot blush creep up her neck. She glanced up at Sam and he threw her a nervous smile.

"Sorry, man." Sam offered.

"You get outta here before I call the police!" Cooper ordered, his head hitching toward the door. Without another word Sam was pulling Bella out, jogging away from the trailer, and to the approaching form of Dean.

"Hey! Hey. So, Cooper thinks that we're pervs, but it's not him." Sam explained casting Bella a look, and attempting to catch his breath a little.

"Yeah, so I gathered. It's the blind guy, he's here somewhere." Dean informed them.

"Well, did you get the -" Bella tired to ask but was interrupted.

"The brass blades? No, such luck sweetheart." Dean said, tacking on that annoying '_sweetheart'_ just to ruffle her feathers. She kicked a small could of dirt at him and glared.

"I got an idea. Come on." Sam tossed in before taking off leaving Dean and Bella to chase after him.

All this running was going to get tiring.

Running around the corner Bella saw where Sam was running, and she was not pleased.

The Funhouse.

Gritting her teeth Bella jogged inside, false confidence in her step, stopping short when she crashed into Dean's back. As she tried to move back and mumble her automatic apologies the loud slam of a door separated Dean and Bella from Sam. Both of them shot forward and began pressing and pounding against the door.

"Sam!" Dean shouts and redoubles his efforts, Bella doing the same right beside him.

"Dean! Dean, find the maze, okay?" Sam yells back and Dean huffs before spinning around to her.

"Come on!" he urges and grabs Bella's arm and pulls her through the funhouse.

Later Bella wouldn't have been about to explain how they found Sam through all the mirrors, tricks, and corners they went passed. She wouldn't have even been able to say how long it took them, but when She and Dean turned one last corner she can see Sam at a pipe organ the is billowing stream through the room, he is pulling on the pipe, cringing at the same time from the heat.

"Hey." Dead greeted beside her while her eyes darted around the room.

"Hey! Where is it?" Sam panted the question.

"I don't know, I mean, shouldn't we see its clothes walking around?" Dean put in as he moved further into the room.

A slight glimmer of light grabbed her attention, realizing what was happening, Bella gave Dean a shove, pushing him over just enough so that the flying knife, pinned his sleeve to the wall instead of his chest. Pushing herself away from the wall, she watched as another knife barreled toward him with amazing speed, she watched as Dean threw himself to his left to avoid being impaled, only to slam his head against a pipe.

Bella sucked in a sharp breathe, her pulse racing, a galloping heart rate that raced at uncomfortable speeds. Ducking down and sprinting across the room, Bella rushed to him and checked his pulse.

_Please! _her mind screamed at her. _Yes! _More then just finding a pulse, he was slowly coming around.

Bella's head whipped up to look for Sam and she spotted him immediately. Pulling the pipe all the way off and moved very slowly forward. Bella looked around nervously, but yelped aloud as a knife whizzed past his head, and he moved to the side quickly.

"Dean, where is it?" Sam questioned, still not having seen them on the floor in the corner. Bella's throat convulsed, and she gave Dean another glance, willing him to get up faster.

"Dean's out of it right now, Sam." she informed him her voice a little high, her brown eyes trailing around the room. There had to be something. Anything.

Her eyes widened as she spots the lever on the next wall, springing up, Bella ran over, pulled the lever. A light hiss sounded all around her as more steam pours from the pipe organ. It was then that she saw the vague shape of the clown.

"Sam, behind you! Behind you!" she gasped out and pushed herself against the wall.

Sam shoved the pipe behind him, impaling the Rakshasa with out looking. As a quiet thump sounded through the room, Bella pushed herself away from the wall and walked back over to Dean to help him stand.

"Ugh." he groaned grabbing his head, by then Sam had made his way over as well and they all looked over to where it had gone down, only to see empty clothes and a bloody pipe.

"I hate funhouses." Dean groused. Bella couldn't help but nod enthusiastically.

* * *

It had been a nice ride back to Bobby's. It had been a quiet one. As Bella thought back on her first _active_ hunt, one thing stuck out above all the rest.

_embrace the flames…._

…_that's the part worth living, my dear_

That mysterious fire dancing man, and his confusing words to her. What was she to make of it? Was she just supposed to forget about it and act like it never happened? For some reason, that she couldn't even explain to herself, the event wouldn't be forgotten.

The long creak of the back door made her wince and turn her head around. Dean met her look, and walked across the porch and settled next on the next stair with a beer in his hand.

"You weren't so bad out there." Dean offered as looked out across the trees.

"Thanks." she acknowledged, with a nod of her head. Her hand came up and pushed some of her dark hair behind her ear then play with the ends.

"Sure."

Bella leaned against the side railing and exhaled. Here she was once again, sitting on that creaky back porch with a Winchester. And even if it wasn't John sitting next to her. Dean wasn't so bad. He was just going through a very hard time. Her mind reeled back ten months ago when things changed forever for her.

She remembered the pain, the overpowering, suffocating and completely full body pain that she felt.

She remembered the regret.

Bella swallowed and blinked her eyes against the memory and looked at Dean.

"My dad died." she whispered, the wind seemed to carry her voice, making the words so much louder. She looked out across the lawn but she saw Dean tilt his head toward her. She pushed passed the aching lump in her throat.

"He died because of me. Something I did caused his death. John…." her voice was shaky and she wrung her hands together in her lap. The words hut to say, it was like prodding the gapping whole in her chest. "When I said John saved me, I meant more then just the first time I met him." Bella turned her head and deep brown locked with glassy emerald. "Don't ever doubt that I cared about him."

Bella didn't dare look at him, afraid of what she might see. So keeping her eyes locked on a bird that landed on a random log, she tried to not notice him staring at her. And in a move that had her eyes watering up from nostalgia, Dean bumped his shoulder against her.

"Well you didn't get us killed, and you're not dead. Maybe you wont be such a pain to work with. " He said before passing her his beer and disappearing back inside.

Bella looked at the brown bottle she held in her hand and couldn't stop her lips from tugging into a small, but genuine smile. Taking a small drink, she thinks, maybe this won the so bad after all.

* * *

**A/N: **Once again, thanks to all you guys! You're awesome! I seriously didn't expect such a nice response! I hope ya'll enjoyed this chapter, we got a little more info on Bella's past, the next will be coming soon. :-D


	5. Chapter 5

******Disclaimer:** All characters appearing in any of the stories posted here are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. I do not, in any way, profit from any story posted here and that all creative rights to the characters belong to their original creator(s).

* * *

**Chapter Five**

* * *

Everything was cold.

That was her first coherent thought that crashed into her muddled mind.

Slowly Bella blinked her eyes open. There was no harsh morning light to make her cringe, only darkness that seemed to stretch out, grasp and consume everything around her, and the steady beat of rain that seemed like sheets of ice barring down on her. The ground was icy, a chill that stung the cheek that was pressed to it.

Where was she?

How did she get here?

What was this place? This suffocating, black void?

She couldn't stop her panicking mind and heart from racing as her eyes adjusted to the darkness. For a small second she thought she was back in the forest where Edward had left her, but this darkness was so different. So… cold. Slowly she shook her head and pressed her palms on the ground and pushed herself up into a sitting position.

There was nothing. A wide expanse of nothing that surrounded her in every direction.

A sharp, guttural cry pierced the air shocking Bella. From a man or woman, she couldn't tell. She only knew the sound was full of pain. Her head snapped around, her wet mahogany locks slapping against her face with a harsh sting.

And then quiet, distorted whispers…

"_You want fire!…. "_

Footsteps sounded, low at first, just a light shifting in the foliage.

"_I can't do this…"_

Scrambling to her knees, Bella thrust out her hand, trying to find something, anything to hold on to, but there was nothing, only more darkness.

"_-not for me, it was never meant for me…."_

She felt the awful burning behind her eyes, and trying to suppress them only made her chest ach. Just behind that aching chest her heart painfully ran from her in fast palpitations that soon was the only thing she could hear besides those footfalls. _"-I wont let you, not ever….."_And just then the soft steps grew louder, quicker. Matching the rhythm of her heart. Her hands started to shake. Her thin frame trembled. She slammed her eyes shut. _"I don't want to leave…."_The footfalls were louder, almost running now. And with the fear of what would happen to her once those steps reached her also came a strong smell. A thick acrid smell of smoke. Shakily her hands searched her waistband and her pockets. Her gun wasn't should she do?What could she do?

"_You're part of this world now"_Was there a fire? Had she been kidnapped? Where were Sam and Dean? Who was making those footsteps? Who was the person that had cried out? How would she get out of this? She couldn't see anything.

Scream, her mind told her.

"_Don't do this!"_

Forgoing the scream Bella, pulled herself from the ground and shakily began to run through the dark forest. The fear was nauseating. She could taste it, the acidic bile rising in her throat, burning away at her esophagus.

"_You're afraid"_

The footsteps grew louder, they were still behind her. She ran, still. The smell of smoke was overwhelming now and clogged her throat as she breathed in deeply. The only respite was the icy rain that fell on her trembling lips and tricked down her throat.

"_I'm sorry."_

Where was she going? She couldn't see. She could still hear the thundering footsteps get louder but she had no idea were to go. But it didn't matter because in that small second someone… _something_ stood in front of her, causing Bella to skid to a halt and trip over the wet ground.

Her palms stung, as did her side as she rolled painfully onto her back, her heart, for some reason slowing down and not speeding up at her impending death. The rain fell in to her eyes and he parted her lips and breathed slowly, her fingers threaded through the grass as if to hold on to something or she would fall off the face of the earth. Her tears burned and mixed with the rain. Her body shook.

Still all she could see was black.

Until at the very second of the thought, and a bright flash of lightening slashed across the sky. She could only vaguely make out the outline of a man before her vision was taken from her again and in its place sharp images flashed before her.

_Blood_

_Fire_

_A mouth, bloody and screaming_

_Smoke_

_Hands griping each other_

_Blood…_

The images repeated over and over, all the images vivid and terrifying. A slow scream worked its way from her throat and to her lips as her body arched upwards.

Suddenly it was gone.

She felt calm. She felt warm. She felt safe.

She felt a presence leaning over her. Feel the heat from their body.

Bella's eyes snapped open to reveal the blurry interior of the Impala.

A dream… just a dream…

She drew in a harsh breath and blinked her eyes to focus. She could see Dean and Sam in the front, the scenery passing by in a flash.

…just a dream…

"Morning sunshine!" Deans voice snapped her attention to him. Pushing a hand through her hair she set up and squinted against the sun.

"You're in a good mood." Sam replied a little grumpily.

"Why shouldn't I be?" Dean replied back as he bobbed his head to the music. Bella rolled her shoulders and straightened her clothes.

"Because you're you." she muttered and saw his eyes quickly glance her way.

"Got my car, got a case, things are looking up."

"Wow. You hear a couple of severed heads and a pile of dead cows and you're Mister Sunshine." Bella put in as she pulled her hair up in a ponytail, securing it with a band from her wrist.

"You know it, Sweetheart," he sent her a wink then turned his attention to Sam. "How far to Red Lodge?"

"Uh, about another three hundred miles."

"Good." Dean nods. "oh, and how do you feel about taking the Sheriff while we take the hospital?" He asked her, that eyebrow raising yet again. Bella blanched for a second before sitting up a little straighter.

"It's fine." she nods.

"Well, you can't dress like a sixteen year old when you do-"

"I do not!" Bella cut in. She dressed in normal everyday clothes. Jeans, tee-shirt, and tennis shoes, she looked over herself. She glanced back up to the mirror and saw Dean quickly doing the same. She scowled at him.

"Well you don't dress like a gown woman either."

"Dean." Sam interjected with a glare. Dean huffed and rolled his eyes.

"Just dress professional." Dean told her with a glance.

"I hope you don't mean the type of '_professionals' _you're use to." she muttered, and then blushed a bit as she realized she'd said it aloud. She watched Dean's eyes narrow at her and Sam gave a full lipped smile.

* * *

**Red Lodge, Sheriff's Office**

Bella shifted uncomfortably in the plastic green chair and let her eyes wander around the small office as she tapped her pen against the small pad of paper in the lap.

She was nervous. She'd never been a great liar, and she was sure that the Sheriff would take one look at her and know that she was a big fat liar.

She wore a plain white button down shirt, her hair, wound in a harsh bun at the base of her neck, and a pair of simple flats adorned her feet. Crossing her stocking-clad legs she attempted to adjust the black pencil skirt that fit a little too well around her hips and thighs, as she tried not to look the Sheriff in the eye.

Why did she always have to be so awkward? Why could she be more like Rosalie? She thought of the striking blonde woman and wished she could have epitomized her confidence, instead of acting like a scared kitten.

Put her in a motel room stitching up a cut, or binding some bruised ribs and she was fine, but put her in front of stranger and tell her to act, and she was a bumbling mess.

"The murder investigation is ongoing, and that's all I can share with the press at this time." The Sheriff broke into her thoughts, jerking her eyes to his, and to the impressive mustache on his face.

"Sure, sure," Bella nodded, "I understand that, but just for the record, you found the first, uh, head last week, correct?" she glanced down at her notebook, half to read the information, and half to not look him in the eyes anymore.

_He is so going to know I'm a liar. _

"Mm-hmm." the sheriff mumbled and stroked his mustache.

"Okay, and the other, a uh, Christina Flanigan," she asked shifting in her seat once again.

"That was two days ago. Is there -" the sheriff started, but knock on the door startled Bella, and she watched as a woman peaked in the door and motions toward her watch. The Sheriff huffs and turns his attention back to Bella. "Oh. I'm sorry, but I've gotta run."

Bella clenched her jaw in aggravation. Dean finally gives her something important to do and she fails big time. If she doesn't finish the job, Dean may never give her a job again. She knew she wasn't a great hunter and that they probably should've left her at Bobby's for her safety as well as their own, but she had to learn sometime.

She needs to grow up and do her job.

She's not going to be with Dean and Sam forever.

Straightening her back and pulling back her shoulders, Bella takes a deep breath.

_Just think how Rosalie would do this…._

"One last question please, what about the cattle?" Bella asks in a clear, strong voice.

"Excuse me?" she seemed to have startled the Sheriff. Bella tilts her chin and raises a brow, just as she had seen Rosalie do.

"You know, the cows found dead, split open, drained... over a dozen cases."

"What about them?" the sheriff questioned, confusion sweeping over his weathered face.

"So you don't think there's a connection?" she continues to ask, her lips pursed.

"Connection... With…"

"First cattle mutilations, now two murders? Kinda sounds like satanic cult ritual stuff?" she reiterates.

"You - you're not kidding." the sheriff laughed, taking away some of Bella's confidence.

"Uhm, No." another shift in her seat.

"Those cows aren't being mutilated. You wanna know how I know? Because there's no such thing as cattle mutilation. Cow drops, leave it in the sun, within forty eight hours the bloat will split it open so clean it's just about surgical. The bodily fluids fall down into the ground and get soaked up because that's what gravity does. But, hey, it could be Satan. Now, I'm sorry but I've got to go." he finished, grabbed his hat and moved to the door.

Bella stood and smoothed down her skirt, kept her shoulders straight and smiled politely to the older gentleman.

"Thank you Sheriff." she thanked him and hurried through the door, down the hall and out of the police department.

Bella gnawed on her bottom lip as walked down the sidewalk to the bench where she was to wait for Sam and Dean. The pavement was slick and glistening with fresh rain. Such a dreary place. The weather here was so familiar, with its dark looming overcast, and the slight drizzle of rain that felt like a cooling mist against her skin.

_Its so much like Forks…._

The distant jingle of a bell caught her attention, and she turned her head and spotted a small book store just across the street, the elegant front on the wooden sign that swung gently in the wind read 'The Book Cove'. Her feet padded against the slick pavement as she walked across the street and to through the door, the light jingle sounding behind her.

The familiar and distinct smell that belonged to books alone, invaded her senses as she quietly made her way through the first isle.

She recognized many books, her old friends that would keep her company during her mothers tireless adventures. Sadly she hadn't cracked a spine of those in a long time.

Turning a corner to the next isle, she shuffled her Chucks against the dark red carpeting and trailed her finger over the bindings closest to her, when a light giggle snapped through the silence.

To the right, in a dimly lit corner, Bella noticed a couple. A short pixie like girl with blonde hair and a thin layer of freckles dusted over her nose and cheeks, she looked cute and innocent, and a boy who looked her complete antithesis was dressed in black with curly dark hair a scruffy unshaven look that made him look a dark, brooding and mysterious aura.

The couple sat on a large blue beanbag, the boys large frame stretched out, his arms curled around the pixie girl as she laid her head against his shoulder.

For a brief moment, Bella's mind flashed back to a memory of a quiet moment she once shared with a boy in a meadow. She could see them curled against each other amongst the purple wild flowers his icy skin pressed against her warm skin and his beautiful golden eyes that seemed to dance with love…

Shaking her head and forcing down tinges of loss that seemed to coil in her stomach, Bella moved on through the stacks, breathing in the thick scent of leather bindings and paper. She ran her hand along the books lined up and stack as if presenting themselves to her.

She missed the simple pleasure of having all the time in the world to read. To read things other then medical guides, mythological lore, and autopsy reports.

A certain font grabbed her attention and she felt a grin tug at her lips before she even pulled the book from his spot. She ran her fingers over the embossed letters and let her mind wander to the memories of her father, and the only time he'd ever read to her. It was his favorite book and they both had enjoyed the nights of hobbits, elves, dwarves, and a certain evil ring that they shared.

She remembered they way his eyes lit up when he attempted different voices and accents for the different characters. She remembered groaning when a chapter had come to a close and it was time for bed. She remembered Charlie kept a copy of the very book in the drawer next to his recliner.

_God, she missed him…_

Suddenly a hand grasped her shoulder and spun her around. Frantic mocha eyes clashed with blazing hazel.

"What the hell are you doing?" Dean snapped, his face drawn in tight lines. His lips mashed together in a harsh line.

"What are you talking about? I'm just looking through some books." she told him, lifting the book as proof.

"Yeah, you were supposed to meet up an hour ago, we've been looking everywhere." he informed her with a glare and pressed a button on his phone and held it to his ear. To the other person he said. "yeah, I've got her…. Yeah, met us at the motel…." he snapped the phone shut and turned back to Bella. "'You can't go running off on a whim. If you're with us, you don't wander off." his voice was just as hard as is eyes.

With a mixture of frustration, anger, and embarrassment, Bella glared up at him, returning the fire in his eyes with her own spark, and shoved passed Dean, not even bothering to put the book back, and stormed out of the little book shop, and to the Impala park just a little down the road.

The ride to the motel was a silent one. It was a tense and short ride that found Bella stiff in posture and worrying her bottom lip. It was only a few moments later that the Impala slammed to a stop and both Dean and Bella exited the car and made their way to the door.

"What happened?" Sam questioned as soon as they enter the room. Bella heard Dean huff something under his breath but chose to ignore him.

"I just went to a bookstore right across the street." Bella explained to him exasperated.

More inaudible mumbling from Dean and Sam's expression softened.

"While we're on a job, anything can happen. You have to be where you say you're going to be or someone might think something could have happened." he explained nodding his head toward Dean, his hair slightly falling in his eyes. Bella's pinches face relaxed a bit. "It's happened to us before. We just have to be where we're supposed to be." he finished with a small dimpled grin and moved to the small table next to the window and sat down in front of his laptop.

Bella took a deep breath and sat down on the small couch.

"So what is it?" Bella asked, hoping to get the subject off her.

"Vampires." Sam said without looking away from his laptop.

Bella froze. Her shoulders were slumped, her whole posture seemed to sag. Her dark chocolate eyes seemed dazed. For a moment it was as if every nerve in her body tightened in the vice grip of emotion that seemed to love tormenting her.

_Vampires…_

_It couldn't be….. It's not….__**them….**_

"What?" was all she could say in a low emotionless voice as her fingers strangled the fibers on the cushion next to her.

Her world tilted.

"Yeah, I know, I though they were extinct for a while to." Dean said from the side of the room, but Bella couldn't understand what he was saying. She shook her head frantically.

"No!" she sputtered out before shooting up from her seated position to her bag.

"What is it?" she heard Sam ask her as he closed his computer. Bella shook her head.

"I'm taking a shower," she stuttered before moving toward the bathroom.

"Hey!" Dean's distinct voice demanded as she, for the second time that day, felt his hand wrap around her arm. She flinched back and pulled away from him.

"What?" she snapped, her voice almost hoarse.

_Its not them, It's not them, It's not them, It's not them…._

"What's got your panties in a twist?" Dean demanded and Bella glared at him.

"Nothing!" she spat at him, her face etched with tight frowns. She watched as Dean quirked an eyebrow at her, his piercing gaze demanded her to speak.

"What's goin on Bella?" Sam questioned, his voice softer then the powerful force that was Dean.

Every molecule of her body was screaming. In fear, denial, shock, panic. This could not be happening.

Not here.

Not now.

There were no coherent thoughts, no escape plans. Nothing but fear.

"Nothing alright! I'm just gonna go take a shower." she barked at them, her eyes narrowing at them as she tried to put as much heat as she could into it.

"While I also think hygiene is important, I don't think a little hot water got you all worked up, so come on sweet cheeks, spill." said, his voice low, his arms now crossed in front of him.

"Dean-" she heard Sam sigh, but Bella cut in, her temper flaring.

"Its none of your business!" she all but yelled at him as she leaned in a bit closer. Bella blinked and swallowed the lump in her throat and took a step back and ran a hand over her face. "just back off." she whispered the last part before escaping into the bathroom, the soft click of the door sounding so loud to her ears.

Flicking on the shower Bella leaned heavily against the sink.

Her world was spinning.

In a clash of black and grays swirling together, Bella couldn't determine anything. Up. Down. Right. Left. Nothing. It was like a heavy fog had been wrapped around her whole body forcing her to become immobile. She couldn't discern the jumbled thoughts that floated around her.

It just couldn't be **them. **

It wasn't normal vampires, the dead cattle proved that much. So it was vegetarians. But they said there weren't that many of them. They'd said that most fed from humans. And what of the other 'type' of vampire. She hadn't known of them very long but she'd never heard of a vegetarian vamp of that 'type'.

It wasn't them.

No, it couldn't be….

_But this place was like Forks. It did have that overcast_… Bella's heart stopped for a beat then took off with renewed fervor.

But when did he ever talk about eating cattle? Hadn't it been larger prey…

Confusion swarmed her tired mind as she stripped away her clothes and let her hair free from its tight hold.

Glancing up at the dingy mirror in front of her Bella looked at the girl staring back. No longer the naive seventeen year old, she'd grown , her cheeks thinned out a bit, her features a little more defined and devoid of the little baby fat she had, washed out color, with dark circles under her eyes. She was still Bella, but physically she'd grown up a bit, and mentally, she'd become middle aged.

A dark thought passed in her mind of what she would have looked like… what kind of person she would have been had he loved her enough…..

Scoffing to herself Bella tossed a towel onto the mirror and stepped into the sputtering shower.

My how things had changed. Once she would have given anything to see them again. Now….

Now she was terrified of the thought.

* * *

The Ride to the bar was silent. The low tune of CCR that Dean was playing floated into her ears. A surprisingly pleasant sound that was starting to lull her to sleep. Forcefully she kept her eyes open. She didn't want to fall asleep. Didn't want to dream again.

Bella laid her forehead against the window watching the blur of greens, blues, browns, and black pass by. Such dull and soft colors some how seemed beautiful to her.

In no time at all the car slowed, and just in the distance was a small, darkly lit bar. The gravel popped and cracked beneath the tires as the Impala rolled to a stop.

Sucking in a large breath, Bella stepped out of the car and rubbed her palms against her thighs. She was dressed normally, no matter what Dean thought. She wore dark blue jeans with a navy blue long-sleeved top and a cream colored jacket and her always there scuffed up chucks. Her hair was down and in its normal bland form.

The epitome of normal.

She did _not_ dress like a sixteen year old anymore, she huffed as an amused Dean flashed in her mind.

The bar was half filled, the pungent stench of alcohol and smoke hung thickly in the air as the light twangy sound of some old country song played in the background. The room was illuminated with dim and soft yellow light. Quietly the trio made their way to the bar.

"Grab me a beer." Sam said before nodding towards the door with the crooked 'BATHROOM" sign. Dean nodded his head and he and Bella walked towards the bar.

"How's it going?" Dean asked.

"Living the dream. What can I get for you?" the voice drawled in a southern twang from behind the bar. By just the sound of him he was well into his years. He was old. His white hair, just a wispy tuff on his head. He was a rather large man, plump. But on his face, his aged mouth was upturned into a mirthful grin, his blue eyes sparkled as he ran a hand down one of his suspenders.

"Two beers, please." Dean ordered leaning against the bar. Bella moved to sit on the stool beside him and leaned her elbow against the dark wood.

"Sure thing." he drawled. As he slapped a rag on his shoulder and hobbled a few steps over. "Sure is nice to see such a pretty couple. Why my Bethel and I was the best looking sweethearts around these parts back in my day." the man grinned mischievously.

Bella's eyes widened and she choked on air.

_Couple!?_

She watched Dean shoot her a look and she almost groaned at that spark that ignited in his eyes.

"Nothing is more prettier then my sweetie pie." Dean grinned and moved closer to her. Bella's cheeks bloomed a deep red and she choked on her words. Dean wrapped an arm around her shoulders and grinned down at her.

Bella swallowed and begin to think of the ways that she would tortue him in the future. She would have to make it good.

"She is a cute little thing." the old man said as he slid two beers in front of them put a cigarette between his lips.

Bella looked down at the beer in front of her that she knew was Sam's and shrugged and took a pull from the cool bottle. The flavor tumbled in her mouth, coating her tongue and throat. She glanced up at Dean and glared at him.

"And a spitfire too." Dean mumbled with a grin as he squeezed her shoulders. As the old man lit his cigarette the heavy smoke tickled her nose.

"Names, Jimmy." the old man offered as he rolled the dull red tip of his cigarette on the curve of the ashtray.

"Well Jimmy, we're looking for some people." Dean said as he took a pull of his own drink. The old man tilted his head and gave an impish grin as his cigarette dangled from his dry lips and distorted his words slightly.

"Sure. Hard to be lonely."

"These people, they would have moved here about six months ago, probably pretty rowdy, like to drink…" Bella put in, in a softer voice, still slightly uncomfortable with the heavy wait of Dean's arm draped over her shoulder.

"Yeah, real night owls, you know? Sleep all day, party all night." Dean himself, added.

Jimmy frowned a second before taking another pull from his cigarette, the delicate swirls of smoke curled in the air as he slowly nodded his head, "Barker farm got leased out a couple months ago. Real winners. They've been in here a lot - drinkers. Noisy. I've had to 86 them once or twice." he finished.

"Thanks Jimmy." Dean nodded, Bella echoed his words and once they were out of sight shoved Dean's arm off of her. They made their way to the small table were Sam met them. Dean grinning at Bella, and she returning it with narrowed dark eyes.

As they all took seats, she saw Sam and Dean exchanging glances and then Dean subtly look somewhere behind her, Bella furrowed her brow and looked around but saw nothing and turned back around to her beer, only to see Sam and Dean exchanging more looks and without a word stood.

"Come on." Dean said, and she was left to slightly jog to catch up to them.

"Never tells me anything." she grumbled to herself. The cool air made her cheeks tinge pink and pull the jacket tighter around her torso as she followed Dean and Sam down the alley.

Only when she noticed that they'd pulled their weapons did she think to pull her gun. She knew that whatever type of vampire it was, her gun wouldn't do anything, but the cool steel made her feel better and calmed her racing nerves.

Just as her palm felt the comforting weight of her gun, things spurred in action. Dean and Sam had a well built black man pinned to the wall, the knife in Deans firm grip pressed against the mans jugular. Bella stands a yard or so back, her gun raised as she looked around the darkened alley.

"Smile." Dean quipped.

"What?" the dark skinned man panted out. Bella moved a step closer.

"Show us those pearly whites." Dean explained further. Bella rubbed her chin against her shoulder as stands of hair tickled her face from the blowing wind, and moved another step in.

"Oh, for the love of - you want to stick that thing someplace else? I'm not a vampire." the man rasped out. An instant frown marred Bella's face. "Yeah, that's right. I heard the little couple in there." he finished, and then the red in Bella's cheeks had nothing to do with the chilly wind.

"What do you know about vampires?" Sam asked after shooting Dean and Bella a curious look.

"How to kill them. Now seriously, bro. That knife's making me itch." his voice hinted with sarcasm. Dean cocked his head, and the man makes a move to pull away when Sam pressed him against the wall harder. "Whoa. Easy there, Chachi." Slowly the man raises his right hand to his lips and pulls it back, revealing nice white teeth and perfectly normal gums. "See? Fangless. Happy?" he raised a dark brow adjusted his jacket when Dean and Sam pull away. "The names Gordon. Now, who the hell are you?"

"Dean Winchester." he says sheathing the knife. Bella catches Sam giving Dean a pointed stare but he ignores it. "This is Sam my brother and our friend Bella." Bella couldn't understand the small wave of happiness that crashed over her when he'd said they were friends.

"Sam and Dean Winchester. I can't believe it. You know I met your old man once? Hell of a guy. Great hunter. I heard he passed. I'm sorry. It's big shoes. But from what I hear you guys fill 'em. Great trackers, good in a tight spot -"

"You seem to know a lot about our family." Bella heard the bite in Deans voice and shot a glance to Sam.

"Word travels fast. You know how hunters talk." Gordon simply said.

"No, we don't, actually." Dean tilted his head as he spoke the harsh words.

"I guess there's a lot your dad never told you, huh?" Gordon put in before his eyes caught Bella. "and you're Bella, the Doc?" he asked, his lip quirking up slightly.

"Yeah," Bella answered and shifted her gun into her waistband. His dark eyes were unsettling and something about them screamed dark. Dark and dangerous.

"Nice to meet ya, you patched up a friend of mine a month or so back after a nasty Wendigo job went south. I see he wasn't pullin' my chain when he said you were a little thing." he nodded his head in what she assumed was a sign of respect, but Bella only nodded her head back and turned to look at Sam, hoping that he can decipher the uncomfortable look on her face.

"So, um, so those two vampires, they were yours, huh?" Sam asked, and Bella sighed in relief.

"Yep. Been here two weeks."

"Did you check out that Barker farm?" Dean questioned.

"It's a bust. Just a bunch of hippie freaks. Though they could kill you with that patchouli smell alone." Gordon informed them with a chuckle.

"Where's the nest, then?" Dean went on to ask. Bella moved to stand near Sam and hugged her jacket closer to herself once again.

"I've got this one covered. Look, don't get me wrong. It's a real pleasure meetin' you. But I've been on this thing over a year. I killed a fang back in Austin, tracked the nest all the way up here. I'll finish it." Gordon returned. Bella felt a momentary rush of relief as she realized that these vamps were definitely not one of the Cullens.

"We could help." Dean pressed.

"Thanks, but uh, I'm kind of a go-it-alone type of guy."

"Come on, man, I've been itching for a hunt." Dean tried to persuade, flashing a grin.

"Sorry. But hey, I hear there's a Chupacabra two states over. You go ahead and knock yourselves out." Gordon hops in his car and turns his head. "It was real good meeting you, though. I'll buy you a drink on the flip side." he finishes and drives off.

"So now what?" Bella asked, burrowing into the neck of her jacket a little, trying to ward off the cold wind.

"Well Sweetheart, I'm gonna follow him. You and Sammy can stay here and talk about your feelings or you can tag along. Your choice." Dean tossed her a grin and went around to get in the Impala.

Bella rolled her eyes, but a slight smile stayed on her face.

"You should come." Sam's voice advised. Bella turned to face him. "but," he stopped and pulled out a knife and handed it to her. "This will probably be more useful…" he explained as he handed over the weapon. He quirked a grin, "Doc." he finished, and Bella couldn't help but grin back at him.

* * *

**A/N**: Sorry it took me so long to get another chapter up. The holidays happened and then my cousin had her baby. (a little girl named Elizabeth Diann) and I had to stay with her and help out for a bit. Hopefully it wont ever take me this long again to get up a new chapter. Sorry again, you beautiful, amazing readers you. :-D I seriously never expected the response this has gotten. Thank you guys so much! I literally adore each and every one of you!

A/N #2: The banner I made to this story is on my profile if you would like to see it. :-D

A/N #3: Oh, and btw, did anyone else have a mini-heart attack when it was announced Jared and Jensen would be attending People's Choice, and that Jensen and Danneel were having a baby! ALDKFJA;LSDKJF;ALSDKF;ALSKDF;ALJSD;FLJ

Sorry bout that.

Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter, I'll get the next one up as soon as I can.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:** All characters appearing in any of the stories posted here are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. I do not, in any way, profit from any story posted here and that all creative rights to the characters belong to their original creator(s).

* * *

Chapter Six

* * *

Logically she'd known since the beginning, that the vampires in town weren't the ones that she'd known, but just the thought of seeing them, meeting them again was enough to through her off.

To know with absolute certainty that the creature was completely unknown to her was a pleasant feeling.

Bella could remember the nights she'd spent wishing they would return. Not just Edward, but all of them. She'd missed them all so much and those first few nights had brought nothing but shaking sobs and a painful ache that she'd thought she would never get rid of.

But it had changed.

As much as she hadn't wanted it to, things had changed. The throbbing ache that would start to boil beneath her skin, left by their overwhelming absence gradually ebbed and in place a slow creeping, haunting numbness had shrouded around her and began to seep into every pore. At first she had welcomed the numbness, embraced it like nothing she had before.

And time had continued. It's slow, agonizing drag of hours and minutes, left her bereft and fighting with herself to hold on to the memories that caused so much pain, or to let go and move on, something that had left her terrified.

_Forbidden to remember, unable to forget_.

It had only been a few weeks after the 'event' happened that Charlie had tried to sooth her with an awkward hug and some cliche words...

_time heals all wounds_

The bitter resentment had bubbled up inside her. Time didn't heal anything. It prolonged the suffering. And then even more cruel, it faded your precious memories, distorted them to just hazy images. Bella had known then, looking up at her fathers face, that it was just a matter of time before those memories would slowly fade. She had clung to her memories with everything she had, they would not go easily. She would remember.

Now...

Now she didn't _want _to remember.

Expelling the thoughts of the past from her mind, Bella shifted within the scratchy blue sheets and resumed flipping through the channels. They had followed Gordon and they, well mostly Dean and Sam, had saved him and had quickly taken care of the vampire. Gordon had invited all of them back to the bar they'd visited hours earlier but she'd declined and opted out for lounging back on the bed and trying to entertain herself.

It was just a short time later when the door opened and Sam walked through, his posture a bit slumped.

"Hey," she greeted with a small wave. With a half smile and troubled eyes Bella could tell something was bothering him.

"Hey," he replied and dropped the keys on the small table. With a sigh, he sat down heavily and tilted his head back to look at the ceiling, his jaw clenching.

Bella bit her bottom lip and flipped the television off and moved to set up on the edge of the bed, her feet resting against the scratchy carpet.

"Everything okay?" she asked with a bit of awkwardness. She wasn't sure exactly what got him so tense and despondent, but if she had to guess, she would say it had something to do with Dean.

She could tell they loved each other, and that they would do anything for each other but, she could also see that they could quickly drive the other mad.

Sam let out a long huff of breath. "Yeah," he started and then let his head fall back down. He cast a glance at her then shook his head, almost to himself, his dark bangs falling forward and skimming his cheek. "No," he spoke again. "Dean is just... Dean. I... Gordon isn't a good guy." was what he eventually went with. Bella nodded her head with a frown on her face, showing that she was listening. "I called Ellen to see if she'd heard of him, she had. She said we shouldn't work with him, that he's dangerous." he finished and let out another long sigh.

"Well if he's dangerous, Dean will see that." she added trying to be helpful.

Sam shook his head, "I'm not so sure, and its not just that."

"What is it?"

"The way he's handling things... with dad..." he spoke lowly and Bella felt her heart ache for him.

"Everyone grieves differently," she tried, knowing it was true. She looked at him and saw the completely heartbroken look on his face.

"I know"

Bella took a breathe and looked away from Sam and instead focused her eyes on the hideous wallpaper, "I completely shut down. I wouldn't talk, I wouldn't eat, I just sat at Bobby's and just...existed." It was a hard time to remember, a time that she know looked back on with shame. She shook her head to herself and looked back to Sam.

"How did you deal?"

She laughed, thinking back to the gruff, concerned, yet determined faces, "Your dad, and Bobby, they didn't give me another choice."

"I can see that." he chuckled a bit as well.

"He'll get better Sam. It will just..." Bella hated the words she was about to say, but she had to say them nonetheless, "it just takes time." she then gave him a small smile, "Everything will work out. Even if Gordon is dangerous, there's you, Dean, and me." she nodded her head in a sure motion and stood to make her way to the bathroom.

Sam threw his head back and let out a hearty chuckle, "Yeah."

"What, I'm tough. I could take him... maybe" she grinned.

"Sure you could."

With a slight grin on her face Bella, in a rare moment of being freely childish, she stuck her tongue out at him and continued her way to the bathroom.

Opening the bathroom door, Bella didn't have enough time to react when she was violently pushed back. Loosing her footing she tripped backward and landed hard on the carpet. She gasped deeply, the air having left her when her back collided with the ground and her head awkwardly collided with the coffee table. After that, there was only black.

* * *

Swirling shadows and brief hints of lights played before Bella's eyes as she started to come to. She was dizzy and the familiar rolling nausea started to churn in her stomach. Her head ached, and as she tried to press her hand to her throbbing head, Bella found her hands immobile. She was also vaguely aware of muted voices, as if she were underwater.

"Wait! Step back, Eli." the woman's voice spoke, the sound becoming clearer with each syllable. Bella tried to fight off the rising panic building within her.

Blinking her eyes furiously, she swallowed thickly and looked around to the moving shadows that had also started to take form.

A large man, with a strong build moved a little, backwards, away from her direction. No, not her direction. As the shadows melted into normal shapes and forms, Bella recognized Sam tied to a chair next to her. Her fear spiked even more when she saw her friend gagged.

Wildly Bella looked to her captives and tried to tug against her bonds. The woman began to walk forward to Sam. Bella pulled harder against the ropes and mumbled through the gag around her mouth as the woman tugged the cloth from Sam's.

"My name's Lenore, I'm not going to hurt you. We just need to talk." the woman, Lenore, spoke calmly.

"Talk? Yeah, okay, but I might have a tough time paying attention to much besides Eli's teeth." Sam bit out, shooting a glace to Bella, then back to Lenore. Bella on the other hand had let her gaze stray to the large man, Eli, and looked at his mouth. When he sent her a grim smile, showing his razor teeth, Bella cringed.

"He won't hurt either of you, you have my word." Lenore's words were calm once again. Soothing. Bella tore her eyes away from Eli and to her. The brunette vampire looked harmless enough, but Bella didn't quite trust her appearance.

"Your word? Oh yeah, great, thanks. Listen lady, no offense but you're not the first vampire I've met." Sam bit out. Bella pulled harder on her restraints.

"We're not like the others. We don't kill humans, and we don't drink their blood. We haven't for a long time." Lenore spoke earnestly. Bella momentarily stilled her course of action. The words were so familiar.

Not just the words, but the way Lenore spoke the words.

Bella didn't doubt Lenore one bit.

She believed her..

'What is this, some kind of joke?" Sam questioned, his face disbelieving.

"Notice you're still alive." Lenore pointed out.

"Okay, uh, correct me if I'm wrong here, but shouldn't you be starving to death?" Sam asked, while shooting Bella another look. Bella had stopped struggling and only watched the interaction.

"We've found other ways. Cattle blood." Lenore stated, and Bella felt relief.

These were _good_ vampires.

Like _them_.

"You're telling me you're responsible for all the -" Sam started but was cut off.

"It's not ideal, in fact it's disgusting. But it allows us to get by." Lenore said as she straightened up and walked over toward Bella. Bella only tensed briefly as Lenore removed her gag.

"Okay, uh, why?" Sam asked the question she'd asked so long ago.

"They don't want to be monsters." Bella offered in a quiet voice, her mind drifting back to the day when Edward had told her just that. Her words caught Lenore, Eli, as well as Sam's attention. Lenore nodded sagely with a curious look passing over her face.

"In a manner of speaking," she said before turning back to Sam, "Survival. No deaths, no missing locals, no reason for people like you to come looking for people like us. We blend in. Our kind is practically extinct. Turns out we weren't quite as high up the food chain as we imagined."

"Why are we explaining ourselves to these killers?" Eli asked suddenly, his expression one of dark anger. He moved a step forward.

"Eli!"Lenore barked her chastisement.

"We choke on cow's blood so that none of them suffer. Tonight they murdered Conrad and they celebrated." Eli continued, his hard expression never faltering.

"Eli, that's enough."Lenore spoke softly once more, before turning to Sam and Bella once more. "What's done is done. We're leaving this town tonight." she finished.

"Then why did you bring us here? Why are you even talking to us?" Sam asked as he nodded his head to Bella.

_They want to be left alone..._

_They just want to live their life in as much peace as they can.._

"Believe me, I'd rather not. But I know your kind. Once you have the scent you'll keep tracking us, it doesn't matter where we go. Hunters will find us."

"So you're asking us not to follow you." Sam asked locking eyes with Lenore.

"We have a right to live, we're not hurting anyone." she said with a sadness that Bella had seen before.

Bella swallowed and look down at the dirty carpet beneath her feet. Yes, Lenore and Eli were a different kind of vampire then the Cullens, but still, they strive to be different. To overcome the very nature of the monster they were suppose to be.

"Right, so you keep saying, but give me one good reason why I should believe you." Sam questioned once again.

"I do." Bella said, not bothering to look at Sam. She wasn't sure what she'd see there so she kept her gaze on the floor. There was a small silence before Lenore spoke again.

"You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to let you go. Take them back. Not a mark on them." she said before two more vampires entered the room. Bella looked up only to see a bag placed over her head.

* * *

The ride had been silent and Bella had only that much more time to think about things. What would she do if they insisted on killing them? What would she say? Would she go along with it? Better question was, could she?

When they'd been let go in front of the motel, the bags removed from their heads and their bonds cut, Bella threw Sam a glance as they walked a little closer to the room, unsure what she would find.

Would he think less of her because she believed the vampire?

All she could see as she stood to right, as Sam walked into the room, was determination.

But surprisingly, she couldn't bring herself to care.

She believed Lenore. Bella knew that Lenore was good. Just as she knew that she would try with everything she had to help them. Because that's what she was attempting right? Trying to learn how to be a good hunter?

Well, Lenore was innocent and she wasn't about to let anyone try to kill her.

Bella felt her body tense as she saw movement, and heard footsteps, but quickly calmed when she saw Sam and Dean.

"Dean, maybe we've got to rethink this hunt." Sam started as they met up with her. Bella nodded her head, relief washing over her as she realized Sam must be on her side.

"What are you talking about? Where were you two?" Dean asked as he shoved his hands in his dark leather jacket pocket.

"In the nest." Sam explained with a shrug. Dean's eyes widened and his forehead wrinkled, as he began shooting glances from Bella to Sam.

"You found it?" he questioned.

Sam shook his head negatively. "They found us, man."

"How'd you get out? How many did you kill?" Dean's eyes were now wide and curious.

"None." Bella put in, she hoped her face held a firm resolve, but she wasn't quite sure.

Dean looked at her with even more confusion marring his face. "Well, they didn't just let you go." he said matter of fact.

"That's exactly what they did." Bella said as she pursed her lips and nodded to Sam, as if for him to back her up. Sam nodded.

"All right, well, where is it?" Dean wanted to know.

"We were blindfolded, I don't know." Sam answered with a sigh and a hand through his hair.

Dean rolled his eyes, "Well, you've got to know something."

"We went over that bridge outside of town, but Dean, listen. Maybe we shouldn't go after them." Sam reiterated once more, but Dean was already shaking his head.

"Why not?" he asked as if he were speaking to a child.

"Because they're not like other vampires, they're not killing people." Bella explained as she looked up at him imploringly. He had to realize they weren't evil.

"You're joking. Then how do they stay alive? Or undead, or whatever the hell they are." Dean obviously didn't buy it. Bella worried her bottom lip and kicked a pebble.

"The cattle mutilations. They said they live off of animal blood." Sam tried once more.

Dean looked at both of them in disbelief, "And you believed them?"

"Look at us, Dean. They let us go without a scratch."

"Wait, so you're saying... No, man, no way. I don't know why they let you two go. I don't really care. We find 'em, we waste 'em." Dean said it in a way that it should have been obvious, it only made Bella clench her jaw.

"Why?" Sam questioned, his voice gaining volume.

"What part of 'vampires' don't you understand, Sam? If it's supernatural, we kill it, end of story. That's our job." Dean ordered, the harsh lines etched onto his face becoming even harder. Bella couldn't take it.

"No, that is not the job. The job is hunting evil, and if these things aren't killing people, they're not evil!" she said her voice raising, her face flushing with passion of the words she spoke.

"Of course they're killing people, that's what they do. They're all the same. They're not human, okay? We have to exterminate every last one of them." Dean met her glare and sent her one right back. He took a step toward her but Bella didn't budge. Her eyes shot daggers.

"No you don't! You don't know anything about them!" Bella stomped her foot and pushed back her hair.

"and you do?" Dean asked leaning down in her face, his hazel eyes dark and hard like flint.

"Yes I do!" she responded, her look matching his, she hoped.

A small silence settled over the three. She could feel Sam's eyes on her as well but she didn't move from her stare down with Dean. Dean tilted his head to the side.

"What?" she heard Sam question, and decided to explain just a bit.

"I knew vampires before I knew about the rest of the supernatural world. Before I met John and Bobby. These vampires were good. They didn't kill anyone..." she paused to take in a gulp of air. She spared a glace to Sam, then looked back at Dean, her eyes pleading, "They saved me... They... Their not killers Dean. People like this, they're just dealing with what life gave them and trying to be better."

"Well these Angel Vampires that you "_knew_"," Dean leaned in so close she could feel his breath on her face, "they're still vampires, which still make them monsters, and we gank monsters sweetheart, not make friends with them." he finished and pulled back to look at Sam. Bella tried to control her anger, boiling and racing through her veins.

Sam shook his head and gave Dean a look, "No, Dean, I don't think so, all right? Not this time."

_Thank goodness someone was on her side..._

"Gordon's been on those vamps for a year, man, he knows." Dean informed them. Bella rolled her eyes at the mention of the man.

Sam scoffed. "Gordon?"

"Yes."he nodded.

"You're taking his word for it?" Sam asked, surprise lacing his tone. Bella only glared at Dean. Just when she thought that he had some decency, some humanity in him he just had to change her mind.

Dean nodded once more, tilting his chin up, "That's right."

"Ellen says he's bad news." Bella bit off.

This wasn't the way a hunt was supposed to go. They were supposed to go in, get the bad guy and go on their way. They weren't suppose to debate killing innocent people. Bella shuttered and clenched her jaw once more.

Dean gave her a look of disbelief and anger, "You called Ellen?" Bella shook her head no when Sam answered.

"I did."

"And I'm supposed to listen to her? We barely know her, Sam, no thanks, I'll go with Gordon." Dean scoffed at the idea.

"Right, 'cause Gordon's such an old friend. You don't think I can see what this is?"

"What are you talking about?"

"He's a substitute for Dad, isn't he? A poor one." Sam delivered the low blow, and Bella saw Dean wince.

"Sam," Bella whispered wide eyed.

"Shut up, Sam." Dean ground out. Bell aback away from them.

"He's not even close, Dean. Not on his best day."

"You know what? I'm not even going to talk about this." Dean said, his voice dropping lower.

"You know, you slap on this big fake smile but I can see right through it. Because I know how you feel, Dean. Dad's dead. And he left a hole, and it hurts so bad you can't take it, but you can't just fill up that hole with whoever you want to. It's an insult to his memory." Sam got out, his voice wavering. Bella closed her eyes momentarily.

"Okay." was all Dean said before punching Sam, hard, across the face. Bella froze, unsure of what to do. Sam only looked at him with unreadable eyes.

"You hit me all you want. It won't change anything."

Dean glared at Sam and sent Bella a withering look, "I'm going to that nest. You don't want to tell me where it is, fine. I'll find it myself." he finished before turning, and walking away.

Bella found herself sprinting to catch up, his chucks, fumbling against the gravel.

"You're not going to kill them! They didn't do anything!" she tried to put as much of a demand into her tone as she could as she caught up with him and stood in front of him. Glaring at Dean she panted.

"Move out of my way Bella," Dean growled out, Bella could see the tick in his jaw.

"No. You're not going to kill innocent people!" she stuck to her ground, even if her heart was pounding furiously and she felt ready to be sick.

"They're not innocent. They're monsters!" he snapped.

Bella snapped and placed her hands against his chest and shoved as hard as she could, which only moved him back a step or two. She could feel her throat burn and her eyes start to sting.

"If you kill them, you'll be the monster, not them" she ground her teeth together and pointed her wavering finger in his face.

Dean only glared and walked into the room.

Bella watched him as he disappeared, and shortly after watched Sam disappear behind him.

She needed a moment. She was too angry to go in there and be of any help to anyone. But, why couldn't he see.

Its not all back and white, there _are_ shades of gray.

_Especially_ in hunting.

Maybe this was all just a big mistake. Maybe she should have just continued doing what she had been. Visiting Bobby when she could and being the unofficial 'Doc' as some of them put it. She was good at that. That didn't have gray area's. That didn't have two bickering brothers fighting like cats and dogs, all the while grieving for their father at the same time, and _then_ trying to teach her how to hunt.

Maybe this would be her last hunt with the Winchesters.

* * *

Sitting in the back seat, Bella kept her mouth shut and eyes firmly glued to the Impala's floorboard. There were so many things she wanted to yell at Dean, as well as so many things she wanted to throw at his head. The man was insufferably stubborn, more so than anyone she'd ever met, even compared to John. Even compared to Edward.

So in order to avoid an argument, she kept her lips firmly closed.

Dean and Sam had come out just a short while after they'd went in. Apparently Gordon had snatched the key's to the Impala and Dean was now trying to hot-wire his beloved baby with a sour grimace on his face.

"I can't believe this. I just fixed her up, too." Dean mumbled under his breath as the car rumbled to life, "So the bridge, is that all you got?" he asked look to Sam for an answer. He hadn't even spared Bella a glance since they'd all piled in the Impala.

"The bridge was four and a half minutes from their farm." Sam answered, his face turned to look out the window.

"How do you know?"

"I counted." Sam said as he looked at the map that lay in his lap. "They took a left out of the farm, then turned right onto a dirt road, followed that for two minutes slightly up a hill, then took another quick right and we hit the bridge." he finished explaining and laid his head back against the seat.

"You're good. You're a monster pain in the ass, but you're good." Dean said with a small smile. Bella looked away from them and out the window, watching the scenery pass by.

Anxiety rose within Bella with each passing moment that they grew closer to their destination.

What was she suppose to do? She knew she had to try and stop Dean or Gordon from hurting the vampires, but she knew, up against them, she wouldn't win. Of course she now had her gun, but she would never shoot, or even threaten to shoot Dean.

How was she suppose to do this?

Sam was on her side, that had to count for something. And maybe Lenore had gotten away in time. Maybe they were already safe somewhere.

But a slow churning in her stomach told her that she wasn't safe. Bella worried her bottom lip as she thought about Gordon arriving before they did. He would kill her, Bella knew that much.

Why couldn't they see that Lenore didn't want to be a monster? That she just wanted to live her life.

It would be like someone killing Esme, or Alice.

_They'd done nothing wrong!_

She hated Dean's attitude, so similar to Jacob and his blind prejudice. She remembered the arguments that they'd had, his fervent disgust for the 'Cold Ones'.

Stopping dead, Bella shook the memories from her mind and bit the inside of her cheek.

_If this is what hunting is... I don't think I'm cut out for it_...

Feeling the car slow, Bella focused on the brothers, and tried to prepare herself for what may lay inside.

* * *

The inside was just was run down and dirty as she imagined, but the only thing that Bella could see was Gordon dipping his knife in a jar of blood. Lenore tied to a chair, cuts covering her sallow skin.

Bella clamped down on her tongue and held back shouting at the horrible man as he took the bloody knife and made a long gash across her chest.

Bella gasped as Lenore did.

She felt her blood boil, and for once in her life, Bella could see herself hurting another human being.

"Sam, Dean, Doc. Come on in." Gordon welcomed with a wicked grin. Bella gripped her gun from her waist band and held it in her hand, not pointing it yet. She cast a look to Lenore.

_She's so scared..._

For a moment, Bella could see Esme there, Alice, and even Rose. Her grip on her gun tightened.

"Hey, Gordon. What's going on?" Dean asked nonchalantly.

"Just poisoning Lenore here with some dead man's blood. She's going to tell us where all her little friends are, aren't you? Want to help?" Gordon offered.

"Look, man-" Dean started, and Bella began to hope that he'd changed his mind.

"Grab a knife. I was just about to start in on the fingers." Gordon interrupted, his face full of pleasure.

Slowly he drug the knife across Lenore's arm, eliciting a strangled whimper from the vampire's lips.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, let's all just chill out, huh?" Dean tried again. Bella's heart took off in relief.

_He was going to help!_

"I'm completely chill."

Sam took a hesitant step with his hands raised, "Gordon, put the knife down." he started to try and reason when Dean stopped him with a hand on his chest. Bella looked on, and moved with them, standing right beside Dean, her gun in her white knuckled grip.

"Sounds like it's Sam here needs to chill." Gordon said with a cocked eyebrow as he pointed the bloody knife in Sam's direction.

"Just step away from her, all right?" Sam said, his voice firm.

"You're right. I'm wasting my time here. This bitch will never talk. Might as well put her out of her misery." Gordon nodded in a friendly way before he pulled a larger, scarier looking knife. "I just sharpened it, so it's completely humane." Bella's eyes widened and she pointed the gun at Gordon, her aim slightly wavering.

Sam moved quickly, stepping in to block Gordon from Lenore. Bella flexed the muscles in her hand, licked her lips and darted her eyes to Dean. He was watching his little brother with a tense face and concerned eyes.

"Gordon, I'm letting her go." Sam said, drawing her attention once again. But Gordon's knife held in front of his chest stopped his movements.

"You're not doing a damn thing." Gordon hissed.

"Hey, hey, hey, Gordon, let's talk about this." Dean tried, from where Bella stood she could see the harsh rise and fall of Deans chest as his heartbeat quickened. Bella took a step forward, gun in hand.

"What's there to talk about? It's like I said, Dean. No shades of gray." Gordon informed before turning his attention to Bella. "And what are you gonna do sweetheart? Shoot me? I don't think so." he grinned at her and looked at Dean once more.

Bella was so close to pulling the trigger and shooting him and not caring, that her finger itched to just 'pull'.

The quick, and violent thought, startled Bella.

"Yeah. I hear ya. And I know how you feel." Dean tried to placate the dangerous hunter.

"Do you?" Gordon questioned, his head tilting a bit to the right.

"That vampire that killed your sister deserved to die, but this one..." Gordon cut Dean off with a bout of dark laughter, Dean, Sam and Bella looked at him confused.

"Killed my sister? That filthy fang didn't kill my sister. It turned her. It made her one of them. So I hunted her down, and I killed her myself." he said proudly. Bella fought back the urge to shutter.

In all her time around monsters and the supernatural, this was her first time around a _man_ who was a monster, because he _chose _to be.

"Why would you do that?" she couldn't help but questioned as she envisioned a thin mocha skinned woman getting murdered by her own family.

"It wasn't my sister anymore, it wasn't human. I didn't blink. And neither would you," he started by looking at Bella, then moved his harsh stare to Dean.

"You're a monster." Bella stated as she pointed the gun more firmly at him, but he didn't even glance her way.

"So you knew all along, then? You knew about the vampires, you knew they weren't killing anyone. You knew about the cattle. And you just didn't care." Sam asked astonished.

"Care about what? A nest of vampires suddenly acting nice? Taking a little time out from sucking innocent people? And we're supposed to buy that? Trust me. Doesn't change what they are. And I can prove it." Gordon spoke before making a move toward Sam.

Without even realizing what she'd done, Bella's finer squeezed the trigger narrowly missing Gordon and imbedding into the far wall. She almost lost her grip on the gun in her own shock but hardly had the time to process it when Gordon grabbed Sam and let his blade cut across his flesh before pressing it against Sam's throat, pulling him toward Lenore.

"Bella." Dean's voice stopped her from moving forward. She looked at him, his gun also drawn, he shook his head no and with the harshest look she'd ever seen on his face he took a step toward the hunter who held his brother hostage. "Let him go. Now!" His voice was deep, angry and the promise of violence dripped from each word.

"Relax. If I wanted to kill him he'd already be on the floor. Just making a little point." Gordon gloated as he held the cut on Sam's arm over Lenore.

A slow steady drip of crimson liquid began to fall onto the vampires pale face.

Lenore hissed, her fangs extending.

Bella held in a gasp and try to dispel the ball of nausea that tumbled around in her stomach.

"Hey!" Dean shouted, but Bella couldn't pull her eyes away from Sam and Lenore's face.

_This wasn't fair..._

"You think she's so different? Still want to save her? Look at her. They're all the same. Evil, bloodthirsty." Gordon yelled at them with a satisfied look coating his face.

"No!" Bella shouted back, "She'd not evil! Your the only evil monster in this room, not her!" she could feel the mist of tears burning behind her eyes when Lenore's face grabbed her attention.

The lovely brunette vampire shut her eyes, retracted her fangs, and with an almost animal sound, turns her face away from the blood before shouting, "No. No!"

_Yes!_

"You hear her, Gordon?" Bella asked a shaky grin crossing her face, "She said no."

"No! No!" Lenore cried out again only backed up Bella's words as Sam shoved Gordon away from him.

"We're done here." Sam spat at him.

"Sam, Bella, get her out of here." Dean ordered, but when she looked at him, his eyes were on Gordon. With a nod Bella moved toward Sam who was busy untying Lenore.

The woman was exhausted, that much Bella could tell, and as she and Sam led Lenore outside, Gordon went to take a step to follow but Bella watched as Dean nodded to the gun that was still trained on him. That the was the she saw of him as they made it outside.

Slowly they sat Lenore down against the Impala, Bella grabbing her bag before taking a seat next to her on the damp grass.

"I'm going to make sure he doesn't have any more." Sam said before rushing off Bella nodded anyway, knowing he wouldn't see it.

Opening her green rucksack Bella pulled out a few wipes and a few bandages, and looked up at Lenore's sad eyes.

"Thank you." Lenore breathed. Bella shook her head and began to wipe away the blood on Lenore's face, first.

"I didn't do anything. Sam and Dean are the ones to thank." Bella replied, grabbing a metal bowl from her bag, setting it down on the cool dirt, and tossing the small bloody rag in, and lighting it ablaze, just as she'd seen Carlisle do so long ago.

"You believed me from the start." Lenore spoke again, Bella looked at her, her face softening and nodded her head. Turning around to grab a new rag for the cut on her chest, Bella turned back around to find Lenore gone.

Placing the rag down, and letting her hand thread through the blades of grass, Bella couldn't help but feel that today at least, she helped someone.

Vampire or not, she helped.

Soft foot falls grabbed Bella's attention and looking up she saw Sam sprinting back over.

"Where's Lenore?" he asked, his breathing labored. Bella smiled a little.

"She left." she replied.

"You think she's going to be okay?" he asked as Bella grabbed his hand and pulled him down to sit where Lenore had just been, take his arm and with the new rag, start to clean his wound.

"I know she will." she replied softly.

* * *

Dean emerged from the building a short while later just as Sam was rising from his spot on the ground, a new white bandage covering the cut on his arm. He moved to meet his older brother.

Bella couldn't hear what they were saying while she burned the bloody rags, and after just a moment Sam had moved to take his seat in the Impala while Dean leaned against the prized car.

"Thank you." his low voice startled Bella a bit as she had starting packing up her supplies. She looked up at him, squinting against the new morning light.

"What for?" She asked.

"For trying to protect Sam. You almost shot Gordon." he said before leaning down and grabbing her rucksack. They both stood, Bells unsure of what to say. "I know you're knew to hunting, so shooting something, especially a human's gonna be hard... but thanks." he finished before walking around the car and placing her bag in the trunk. "but try to have a little more practice before you go shooting that thing."

Bella smiled slightly as she too got in the Impala.

Things had turned out for the best.

Lenore was okay, and so were Dean and Sam.

Bella looked down to see her finger absentmindedly running over her scar, bringing a small frown to her face. On impulse Bella moved forward and leaned against the front seat in between Sam and Dean. They both tossed her a glance.

"The vampires I knew..." She spoke, and looked at the two men that had become her friends.

"Yeah," Dean nodded and looked at her curiously, as did Sam.

"They really did save my life. They were my friends. There was a vampire that came into town and caught my sent. He wanted to hunt me. My friends tried their best to stop him. In the end he found a way to get to me." She tried to speak of the past without emotion, but a deep sadness still crept back in to her voice, and her face echoed that emotion.

"What happened?" Sam asked the question. Bella looked at him and saw his face, so open and trusting, she hated herself for not telling them the whole story, but she wasn't ready yet.

She didn't know when she ever would be, but she knew it would happen one day.

"He bit me." she said looking forward at the blurring yellow lines.

"What?" Dean asked as she saw both of their heads jerk in her direction. Bella continued to watch the yellow lines.

"These vampires aren't like the vampires we just saw. They're different. Once bit and you start to turn. It's like a venom." she finished with a sigh, her finger still tracing the scar that would forever remind her of that time her life.

"But I thought he bi-" Sam started but Bell cut in nodding her head.

"Yeah, he bit me, he beat me up and then bit me, when my friends got there and killed him. One of my...friends... he saved me..." With a long expelled breath, Bella lifted her arm and gives her wrist to their eyes. She saw Dean eye the scar with a tense mouth, and flinched a tad with Sam touched it gently. "He sucked the venom out. He didn't drain me, he stopped when the venom was out." she explained before finally looking at both of them. "They didn't ask for what they are, it just happened to them. Like your life happened to you." She finished and laid her head against the seat in front of her. Dean still taking quick glances at her wrist, and Sam still prodding the white chilly scar.

The low hum of '_Simple Man_' whined lowly and Bella for the first time in a long time, felt fine.

* * *

**A/N:** Sorry for the wait! I hope this extra long chapter will be enough! I seriously can't tell you guys how awesome you are. Weather you're leaving a review, or just following the story, I'm so glad people are enjoying this! You guys are the best readers ever!

I do want to say, this is going to be a slow burn kind of story, so if your looking for a hook up to happen soon, I'm sorry, but that's just not in the cards for my Bella and Dean. I have an idea of where I want this story to go in the end, as well as some arcs that I want to add, and all I can say is that I see this being a **long** journey for Bella, Dean, Sam and Bobby, as well as a few more characters you will recognize. And maybe one has already appeared, but you just don't realize it yet. ;-D

Thanks again for being such awesome readers, I never thought this story would go so well.

More to come soon!


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